Drowning

Chapter 40:

Ezra and I made it through breakfast easily enough without much incident. The boys surprisingly had some eggs and sausage in the house.  Ezra looked relieved when I offered to make breakfast instead of letting him eat the box of sugar in his hands. He kept creeping up behind me and staring down at the food while I was turning it in the pan.

When we sat down to eat, he devoured his plate in seconds.  I pushed the food around the plate, lost in thought.  I was here in my brother's kitchen making breakfast for his friend who I just had unprotected sex with.  I didn't even want to think about how many girls he was hooking up with and if he was safe with them. It didn't matter in the cover of darkness and fuzzy alcohol-induced desires, but in the light of day, my brain was slowly trying to snap back into reality.

"Not hungry?" He asked, watching me shift the food from one side of the plate to the other.

"Not really."  I said softly and pushed the plate over in front of him. "You can have the rest if you want."

Ezra happily took my plate and finished it.  I wasn't sure where he stored all that food, but I guess when you are twelve feet tall, you had a lot of places it could go.  He sat back and held his hands over his full stomach as he continued to watch me. 

I grabbed the plates from in front of him and took them to the sink to wash them.  I heard Ezra's chair move and he tried to sneak up quietly behind me. I had to smack his hand when he dipped his fingertips into the shorts while I was trying to wash the dirty dishes out in the sink. He was ready to take advantage of our alone time in the house, but we had crucial things we needed to take care of first.

We sat back down at the kitchen table and he pulled his phone out. He was looking up to see what our options were for trying to protect ourselves after last night. He scrolled through a few sites and talked about a couple of our options. He handed me the phone when I asked about side effects, this was my body and if I was going to take something, I needed to know what it would do to me and what the risks were. Making this decision felt unnatural and sick. I felt desperate.

Was I doing the right thing?

We got dressed and hopped into his car to head to the local pharmacy. I didn't know where to look for it. Ezra followed me up and down the aisles until we came to the feminine hygiene aisle. At the end of the aisle, in a plastic case, we finally found what we were looking for. Why did it have to be in anti-theft packaging? This was so humiliating. I grabbed the box after Ezra made no intention of moving towards it. Apparently, I'm the adult in our weird undefined relationship. He was looking a few sections over at the boxes of condoms in the same aisle. He bent down and picked up two 24 count boxes.

"Overkill much?" I turned my head and looked at him sideways.

"These won't make it past this weekend." He leaned over and said with a playful grin.

"You do remember the real reason why we came here, right?"  I asked him, trying to ignore the stirring in me deep within. I shook the package in my hand at him trying to get his attention.

"That's exactly why I grabbed box number two." He held his box up and shook it back at me. 

"You are wrong."  I said, pushing at him.  I turned my attention back to the box in my hand and flipped it over to study the words on the packaging.

I heard giggling in the next aisle over.

When I looked back up, I noticed two girls kept walking past us in the aisle and were staring at Ezra. They kept turning to him and smiling, trying to get his attention. He pulled the corner of his mouth up and looked back down, laughing. He seemed to like the attention they were giving him. Ezra made my blood boil. Ezra was hot, I knew he didn't struggle to attract attention, but I didn't like the fact that he seemed to get some sort of pleasure from it.  He was here with me today. He could have at least pretended that I was enough for him for 24 hours.