Constellations, Coffee & Chandler | q.h

sixteen

Jesus this looks bad.

Thank God the boxes are significantly lighter now, the fact that I managed to push them up in the first place is a miracle. The suspicious crunching noise each box makes as I toss it to the ground is more than a little concerning, but I'm going to ignore it and just shove them back under the stairs.

No one is home. No one is home.

I have the whole house to myself. Boy free and no need to worry about them walking in at any minute. It almost feels freeing.

I do hate that I'm still in this limbo stage. It probably doesn't help that I've put myself here and don't entirely know how to get myself out of it.

The first morning, Jake was sweet - I know, that's an oxymoron if I've ever heard one - and brought me a coffee while I was trying to hide on the swing chair with a book I had stolen from my mom. Brock bought my mom and me each a bouquet of flowers, which mom absolutely lost her shit over. Quinn and Elias were quiet, which I'm definitely not mad about. They never went out of their way, but seemed more key on little things, like Quinn always sitting close next to me, or Elias grabbing my dishes after we eat. It was still awkward beyond compare, but thankfully not as bad as I was expecting it to be.

All of which leads us to today. I feel weirdly myself today. For the first time in a long time. I don't know if mom slipped an extra antidepressant into my smoothie this morning or if I'm just having a good day, but I'm not complaining. I know the guys recognized it in our brief exchange this morning, Everett's eyes almost lighting up as I held my banter with Carson. It just feels like today everything is falling into place. Like today everything is right and today everything is good. October 13, officially a good day for me - I'm speaking it into existence for the universe to hear.

My lights are up, the throw pillows exchanged for fall ones, the extensive fall decor now strung around the house, pumpkin-scented candles lit in nearly every room, and cookie dough mixing in front of me. Today's going to be a good day.

Absentmindedly, I dance my way around the kitchen, cleaning up my trail of flour from the countertop as my happy songs playlist flows through the speakers. I feel more myself in this moment than I have in months. Today is such a good day.

Candy corn in the cookie mix, George Ezra playing on the speakers, what more could a girl ask for?

Probably a couple more hours of silence.

The boys don't need to announce themselves when they get home, it's impossible not to hear them before they even open the door. I don't think I've ever met a group of guys that could be so loud all the time, and I've lived with hockey players my whole life.

I have to stop myself from wincing as I hear the door click open. This is good, I'm more than capable of standing in the kitchen baking cookies while the guys go about their day.

"Woah," I try not to turn as the guys file into the kitchen, by the sound of their steps at least one of them walking up to me. "Oh yum," Jake leans over to steal a scoop of cookie batter as he leans on the counter beside me. I need to breathe. "I'm not responsible if you get salmonella," I mumble as I try to focus on evenly placing the balls of dough on the cookie sheet.

"I'm pretty sure salmonella is a myth," Jake steals another scoop of cookie dough as I smack his hand away. "Where's your phone?" I can hardly understand him as he mumbles through his stuffed mouth. I point to the far corner, Jake quickly scurrying over and turning down my music. Dammit.

"You're ruining the bubble that is my me-time Jacob, I just want to listen to my music and bake these cookies in peace" I try to shoot him a glare as I'm met with the already unimpressed expression on his face. "Chaney, I think you've had more than enough you-time as of late," he lifts his eyebrow as I turn my attention back to the bowl in front of me. What an asshole.