The Desire (killugon story) [COMPLETED]

Chapter 15 -apology

Killua's POV

It finally was lunch time, and I decided to skip it, I usually sat with ray,emma,norman, and alluka but I had to talk to gon and i didn't wanna tell them, I was in my locker and I saw gon walk past, I quickly caught up with him "hey...gon can we talk now..."

"Oh yeah, let go" I followed him and he brought me to the roof again...it reminded me like when we first started hanging out. Playing the pocky game, and hugging, we sat down in the bench. "So...what is it killua" I took a deep breath.

"Gon..i know we haven't talked that much but- look in really sorry...im sorry that I said all that mean stuff to you" my voiced cracked and i felt tears start coming out. "I-i wasn't thinking, and in that moment...it all just came out wrong...and I've been feeling guilty ever since...i just-i just, im so sorry!" I said sobbing.

"Killua..." Gon said placing his hands, on my shoulders. I continued sobbing, and crying letting all my emotions out. "Killua, i-its ok. I forgive you!" He said cupping my face to make me look at him.

"You're just saying that- be-because i-im cr-crying!" I said stuttering

"No killua, I'm being serious, just please calm down" he said moving a strand of my hair, from my face. He wiped some of the tears that were in my face "i-i deserved it anyways..." He said

"Wh-what?"

"Killua...i was a horrible friend, I took advantage of you...and made you feel awful, I wish I can take it all back" he said tearing up.  "I was just...so confused! I didn't know what to do...i felt horrible for everything that i did to you..." He said crying. "B-but you're ok, right? I mean look at you, you made friends...and a boyfriend..." He said sobbing.

"Gon..." I finally was able to stop crying. I looked at him and he looked at me wiping his tears away.

"Im sorry killua..."

I felt tears stream down my face again, I quickly got a hold on him and hugged him. I felt like we needed it. I cried into his shoulder and he hugged me back. We stayed hugging for a while, until we finally pulled apart. "I forgive you gon..." I said slightly smiling. We sat there in silence until we finally stopped crying and put ourself together.

"How have you been...?" Asked gon

"Good i guess..."

"What do you mean you guess? Killua, you made friends! Aren't you happy?"

"I am...but I missed you...its like you were the missing puzzle" I said chuckling. While looking away. "How about you..."

"I've been good but I also missed you...things were not the same..."

"Oh...how are you and retz?" I asked

"Oh-uh we broke up..." He said looking down.

"What!? Why?! W-when?!"

"Um...shortly after we separated... She and I..."

"Did you and retz...have...se-" I asked...feeling a little upset, he slowly nodded.

"Ye-yeah...and when we did...it felt wrong....it took me while, but I realized... That she wasn't the one that I wished I did it with...so i ended things. What about you and you're boyfriend...did you guys... do it..."

I stayed silent. He slightly nodded and looked away. "W-we didn't...i mean, we did some stuff...but not everything" I said embarrassed.

"Oh...ok...well I should go, lunch is almost over and I wanna get to class early..." He said standing up.

"Wait gon..are we ok?" He turned around to face me.

"Ya...i mean if you accept me as being a friend again..." 

"Sure" I said smiling at him. He smiled back and walked away. I don't really know how to feel...once I hugged gon and talked to him...it felt amazing. But i can't like gon again....i have a boyfriend. I sighed and sat down again. I curled myself into a ball, thinking.

Ray...

Gon.

I groaned and buried my face into my hands. Why is life so difficult!

"Killua? There you are! I've been looking for you" I looked up and saw ray. "Hey...are you ok?" He said sitting next to me.

"Ya..i just wanted alone time" i said looking at the sky.

"Ok that's enough, what is going on. You've been acting different ever since we bumped into you're old friends"

"Its nothing ray..."

"What-do you miss them? you told me they hurt you, well gon did..."

"I'm actually friends with him again" I said looking at him.

"What! Killua are you insane, he hurt you! What if he does the same thing to you again."

"Ray, I trust him.." I said. Ray looked mad, he stood up and walked away. "Ray were are you going!" I said running after him "ray!"

"Im going to beat him up"

"Wh-what..."