Badly Broken

Chapter 25

I wiped the snot from my nose, blowing into the tissue. I harshly rubbed my eyes, making them even redder than before.

"Kai," Sarah spoke softly. "What happened?"

"I-I've never seen you cry before," Zay had a pained expression on his face. Pained from seeing me like this. In the many years I'd known him, no matter how much I had going on, I never showed that weakness to anyone. I never cried in front of anyone... except Lucas.

"I-Its just t-that... Ho-how could he say that to me?" I stuttered, not being able to process my words.

They shared looks with one another, all confused and unknowing.

"H-he said that I was f-faking it. That I'm not g-gay, and that I'm just using h-him..." I spoke between hiccups, choking down my cries.

"Using him? What the hell does that mean?" Zayden asked, angry at what Lucas had said.

"I just wanted to see him because I missed him all week at school, I thought he didn't show up. So I went to his house and told him I came over to watch some of Mad Dog's fights...

"What the actual fuck!" The boy sitting next to me exclaimed. "Who does he think he is to say that you're using him? Using him how?" Zayden was frustrated, not following Lucas' logic.

"I don't know... It was hard for me to understand. He went on about how I only seek him out when I need something," I looked up to Jack, more water falling from my eyes. "D-do I do that?"

"What!?" He removed himself from the wall, "Of course not! There is a thin line between trusting someone and using them, not once have you used Lucas."

"B-but then why," my voice broke, "why would he say that? Am I just a shitty person?"

"And then after everything we did together, he thinks I'm lying about my sexuality? Even after I gave him m-my virgi-" I cut myself off, taking another tissue to wipe my nose.

Zayden and Jack were both furious.

"We let that ungrateful fucker into our group, and this is what he does?" Zay spit.

Sarah sat quietly, her hands resting in her lap as she was in deep thought, then she finally spoke up for the first time, "Lucas shouldn't have said that about your sexuality. He has no right." She was calm but had a stressed expression on her face. "What crappy timing, we literally spent all week planning the best way for you to finally ask him out. Seriously, what's with this weird timing..."

Zay began to shout in anger, "So what?! He completely lost it after four days? It's only been four fucking days. If he didn't even bother to talk with you and work things out, then that's on him!"

I knew Zay was only mad because Lucas made me cry, he had never held a grudge against the other boy. Not like I had.

"Shit, this is so fuuucked," Jack huffed as he ran both his hands through his blonde hair. "I thought Lucas was super chill, I don't get why he'd say that kind of stuff to you."

"He said so much more... but I can't remember, there was just so much going on and it was out of nowhere. I feel like I wasn't even there when it happened," I spoke, trying to recall all of Lucas' words, but all I could think about were the digs he made at me.

'FUCK! Were you just faking it all!? Did you just pretend to like me so that I would help you find your dad? Aren't you just using me to get what you want!?' Lucas' words echoed in my head.

I always put on a fake face in front of others, but not once have I done that with Lucas. I've never felt like this about someone before, but he didn't even give me a chance to explain... to tell him how I felt.