I Know What Sin Is

Chapter 24

I had forgotten how much I liked kissing her.

The softness of her lips, the feeling of her smooth, creamy skin brushing mine, the way she didn't grip or push me and just let our mouths move together in gentle synchronicity.

Yet, I still felt sad inside.

I kissed her for a long moment, knotting my hands through her long hair while she held the sides of my face. Heather cleared her throat stiffly somewhere to the right of me. I broke away, turning to her as Rhoda leaned on me.

"Maybe you could continue... this... later?" she asked meekly.

"Look," Rhoda started, and I shook my head swiftly, trying to get her to shut up. "Our kiss was better than yours anyway," she told Heather haughtily.

"Maybe," the other girl murmured. "But ours was more meaningful. And you can't ruin it."

"It wasn't a competition," I said firmly, trying to steal a glance at Michael. "No one's ruining anything."

He was looking past all of us at something in the distance, sort of unhappily. Is he mad at me? I thought in sudden panic. Does he think I'm trying to be better than him?

"We should probably get going," he said finally, his tone steady and impassive. His hand touched Heather's and I noticed how she moved her arms up to cross around herself, as if cold. "The rain's picking up."

Rhoda looked skyward, though it was too dark above us to see anything. "If I get rained on my shirt's gonna be see-through," she said, pinching the material of her tight cap-sleeved tee to separate it from her skin.

I felt almost worried that Michael didn't say something or even make a slight smirk. Something must really be wrong with him.

"Well then," Heather said, breaking the nervous silence. "Goodnight." She narrowly avoided bumping my arm as she made a beeline for Michael's car.

Rhoda turned to give her a poorly concealed sneer, then shrugged and offered up her fist to Michael for a bump. I supposed that meant she was okay with him now. He looked blankly at her for a second, then obliged, forcing a smile.

"Bye," I blurted out.

He turned his eyes to me, smiling a bit more genuinely before reaching over to gently ruffle my hair. I relished in the split second he touched me. "See you tomorrow."

My heart felt heavy as Rhoda took my hand and led me over to the Impala, swinging our arms slowly between us. "Was that horrible?" I asked softly.

"What part?"

"All of it," I murmured. "The whole night. Did I, like, torture you by forcing you here?"

"Nah," she said assuringly. "Like I said, tasty chickens."

I snickered and opened the passengers' door for her. "I'm glad you liked them."

"I liked kissing you too," she said as she buckled herself in.

I walked around to the drivers' side, trying to collect my thoughts. Was I leading her on? No. She understood the situation. Didn't she? "So, was Heather too much of a nerd?" I asked, slamming shut the door.

Rhoda shrugged. "She's annoying. Not like I care, though. Those losers aren't worth our energy."

I looked behind me as I backed up the car, trying not to get in a wreck as I escaped the parking lot. It was after 9 p.m. now, and though most days in high school I'd stayed up past three in the morning, I was exhausted.

"Do you think they're gonna go home and fuck?" I wondered sullenly.

"Probably," she said. "Did you see the look in her eye every time he said two words to her? She's totally in love."