I Know What Sin Is

Chapter 19

The lights were already off when I walked in.

It was a little creepy, I thought, as I fumbled my way along the wall and almost bashed my knee into a random chair just sitting in the middle of the room. Like I was a hapless fly heading straight for a spiderweb.

"Do you mind?" Amy whispered from where she lay on the bed. "The dark?"

"No," I said. "I like it too."

I decided then that at the point I finally found someone I wasn't insecure about having sex with, I'd have to marry them. But I doubted that would ever happen.

I walked over to the bed, crawling on the mattress and sitting back on my knees. The covers were perfectly made, with two bland white pillows at the top. There was nothing else worth observing in the room. Must be the one for guests.

I stared at her, and she stared at me, and I realized that this was Rhoda all over again. A girl just sitting there and waiting for me to do something. Maybe all girls were like that.

"So, um..." I started awkwardly, running my hand through a strand of her long silky hair that had somehow attached itself to me. "Should I kiss you?"

She smiled up at me, her eyes bright. They were blue, like Michael's, which was nice. "I think so."

So I closed my lips over hers, then pulled her body close as she kissed me back and grabbed one of her boobs, which I think startled her, but I ignored it, rubbing my thumb over her nipple. She let out her breath in a soft sigh, warm against my lips.

I was starting to relax now, fall into the pattern of what I'd done in the past. I pressed my hands to her sides and pushed her down onto the comforter, chasing her lips with mine. Her breathing grew heavier as I kissed her, our mouths turning back and forth to meet at different angles. "Fuck, you're hot," I whispered, running my hands up to grip her hair.

She made one of those giggly laughs and leaned back, letting me duck my head to her collarbone, then down to the soft skin of her breasts. I tried to kiss everywhere as I lowered myself, positioning my body between her legs while she reached to unbutton her ripped jeans.

I helped pull them down, trying to avoid touching her hands. My palms were getting quite clammy.

"I love these jeans," she said. "But I think they're too small." I ignored her and tugged them over her hips. "Do you think they're cute?" she asked.

"I think," I panted with one last heave, "they'll look better off you."

She giggled again and sat up as I threw them to the floor, then turned and slipped my arms around her, feeling along the back of her bra for the clasp.

This was the moment I'd been dreading.

I pinched the material between my fingers, trying to find the wire and unclasp it as fast as possible. By pure luck, one of the two hooks came undone. I tried to distract her with more kissing as I struggled with the other, but after a long few seconds she looked up, her eyes wide. "Want me to do it?"

"No, no, it's fine, I got it," I said, yanking my hands in opposite directions. The second tiny hook snapped off and her bra hung loose.

"Did you just break my-"

"Shh," I whispered, reaching my one hand to her neck while the other pulled the bra off and tossed it off the bed. She made a short noise of surprise as I pushed her down, then reached down and pulled her hips up to slip off the peach panties she wore.

She groaned, a low sound deep in her throat that I could feel in my hand. Note to self: act confident even when not.

I looked up, pressed my lips to hers again, and slowly let my hand make its way between her thighs, running up her folds before I dipped inside them. She moaned against my mouth, arching her back so my fingers were buried deeper.