Fitting in Black

15.

Deep Conversation

~The past~

'Come on Diana, again'. Kekoa egged as I let a heavy breath fall from my lips, sweat trickling down my face to my neck, we've been going at this for an hour.

'But I'm tired, can't I just have a minute of rest'. I begged as he shook his head, a firm no.

I pouted but still tried again. Again I failed to raise my foot as high as the balloon attached to the wall.

'I can't do it'. I finally gave up after the tenth try. I just couldn't, I'm not flexible enough and I'm not even tall enough to do it.

I plopped myself onto the damp grass as Zeus and Artemis trotted over to me, I smiled as I looked down at them and rubbed both their heads.

I heard his footsteps but refused to look up. He'd make me want to do it, with some sappy motivational talk about how I'm talented and how my Mum would be proud if I could do what she did, and as if on cue he began.

'You know you're psyching yourself out of doing this right? It's all in your head, you're so focused on the fact that you're not tall enough or flexible enough to do it that you try based off on that negative energy, stop it'. He said as I scrunched my nose up in confusion, this isn't the usual motivational pep talk, but it's working either way.

'Get up, let me teach you something'.

'Ughhh'. I groaned as I sluggishly got to my feet.

'One thing I taught your Mum was to always have a positive mindset, and if you do have that mindset you'd be able to do it and I'm sure if you did your Mum would be very proud of you'. There it is. I giggled to myself at the expected phrase but listened intently to what he was saying.

'Rule one is to always be positive, when there's something you can't do, picture yourself doing it and practice over and over until you see yourself doing it, rule two, if those negative thoughts threaten to break your ability to do something, pick one sound out of everything happening around you and focus really hard on that, clear your mind of any conflicting or distracting sound or thought and focus on one sound or that one voice inside you'.

I let his words sink in and nodded, I slowly breathed in and looked over to the balloon attached high onto the wall. I closed my eyes and pictured myself doing it, I tried it again but failed.

I groaned in frustration and kicked at the grass, I watched as little fragments of torn up grass flew up, the wind immediately whisking it away, I looked over at Kekoa as he nodded encouragingly.

'Inner voice'.

Once again I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly, I imagined myself doing it and focused all my attention to my so called inner voice and then I heard it. I heard her.

'You can do it Diana'. I opened my eyes immediately and stared straight at the balloon, it was my Mum.

'This was the second time I've heard her voice but how?' I thought to myself as I looked down, shaking my head.