How could we say Goodbye?

Chapter 30

A sharp sob caught your attention, and you looked to Sophie, expecting the sound to be coming from her.

"I can't do this" Grant gasped, his hands clutching to his bed sheets so that the skin was stretched and white "I can't" he whimpered, you clung to him tightly, almost frightened that he would disappear if you didn't. "I can't bare that this might be last hour with you"

Your body flinched visibly at the words as you whispered exasperatedly "No Grant you can't... You can't give up"

"But I'm so tired of trying... I'm so tired of this whole thing..." His body shook with tears beneath your arms, and you were left clueless of what to do.

He couldn't give up. If he gave up it was your last droplet of hope gone. "Babe please-" you clenched your teeth together and closed your eyes, praying for it all to go away. Praying for you to WAKE UP.

Your brain scanned for ways to offer comfort, anything to help the quivering body beneath you; but it was as though someone had sieved you of all the knowledge you once had. The only thing you had the strength to do was hold Grant, and savour every point that your body cells met.

You buried your face in his hair as Sophie walked out briskly holding in tears of her own, inhaling Grants scent, "I won't let you go." You whispered, body nearly trembling with the struggle of not allowing yourself to cry.

Grant seemed to have given up trying. He sobbed loudly into your embrace as he balled your shirt in his hands and leaned limply into you as his support.

"You're going to be okay Grant. You will. You have to." You voice strained around tears as you lay on his bed.

Once Grant had calmed himself down a little, you cuddled him tightly until the operation was nigh. A doctor asked you politely to leave as you turned to look Grant in his eyes.

"You'll pull through this. I love you so much" you whispered, offering him the closest thing to a smile your face could manage.

"I love you too"

Once you were outside you slouched against the door effortlessly, seeing Sophie sat on a worn chair.

"Soph" you trembled slightly "Soph... What am I going to do if..." She shook her head and embraced you immediately.

"Don't think like that, he will recover"

***

Waiting was the worst part, the strangling vines of fear within tightened with every passing second of silence.

You found yourself biting your nails or you lip, until it was actually too painful to carry on, your eyes darted around the empty halls, and every time you stood up to pace a while your legs felt weak and unstable.

A doctor came out of the room and you immediately snapped your head away, standing and breathing heavy with apprehension.

"I-Is he okay?" You stammered, Sophie stood by you for support.

"Mr Gustin has had the operation, no complications were found, and he is predicted to make a full recovery"

You collapsed against Sophie slightly "oh god... Oh thank god... Can I see him?" You ask, a hand on your forehead as the doctor nodded happily.

"Grant" you said, unable to keep the smile from your face even at Grants exhausted appearance. He turned and smiled at you.

"I didn't give up" he grinned, you felt like you were dreaming as he smiled fully at you.

"You're going to be okay..." You whispered, tears glistening your eyes as he nodded.

His head snapped away.

His eyes squinted into a frown as he hissed in pain and the doctors who had been checking the details of the operation ran in immediately.

"Wha... What's happening?" You ask, eyes scanning the concerned faces as you heard murmured and faint words of 'complications' and 'emergency' around you.

You felt your heart plummet rock bottom as the signals of his heart rate slowed and you realised just how comforting the constant beeping had been.

You felt the burn of tears in your eyes.

You think you were screaming but you couldn't tell, everything was numb as your body trembled violently.

His heart rate was now just a line, a constant, still line as the beeping turned to a low repetitive wail.

Your legs gave way.

You screamed and screamed but you couldn't hear anything.

His heart beat stopped in front of your eyes and you could do nothing about it.