[AlexGaskarth] I'm The Only One [Sequel | You're Not The Only One]

[ChapterThirteen]

Biting my bottom lip, I look up at him, watching as he clumsily got on one knee. My eyes fill with tears, as I run a hand through my hair.

He smiles, placing a hand on my cheek, wiping away the tear that fell from my eye. Taking a step back, I watch as his hand falls from my cheek.

“Don’t, Alex, just don’t.”

“I love you, Logan. And I'm sorry that I had to see what I was missing the hard way. I was stupid for thinking that I could live without you, and I know that you feel the same way about me.

“Logan, we were amazing. Sure we have things to work on but I love you. I can’t keep on telling myself that you can find someone better. I'm going to be selfish and want you to myself. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you.

“I'm going to ask you to marry me.”

His words shock me, I want nothing to do with him, and this isn't the way to make things better. I don’t know what he’s trying to do right now, what proposing me would get him in the long run.

I still don’t know why he broke up with me. His reasons before were bullshit, I'm not stupid, I've known him for too long to believe a word of what he said.

Shaking my head, I comb my fingers through my hair, biting down on my lower lip, I don’t want to marry him, not right now, I did, but I'm so confused now.

Proposing to me won’t make anything better. He still hasn’t told me what happened to cause us to break up, and now I can’t help but think he did something terribly wrong since he’s doing this to make it up to me.

He’s such a jerk.

“Logan, come on.” Tilting his head to the side, he bites down on his lower lip, chewing on it, his voice is pleading with me, begging me, and I don’t understand why.

None of this makes sense.

All of it seems so spontaneous and stupid.

Tears fill my eyes, clouding my vision, this isn't okay, he knows better than to joke around with something like that, which makes me think that this stupid proposal is real.

But, I don’t want to marry him when I don’t know what happened to us. I don’t want to marry him when I know he’s just going to walk out like he did before.

Shaking my head, I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans. “Alex, you can’t just, you can’t come back and expect things to pick up where they left off. We’re not together.”

He did this, not me, I don’t know what happened between the two of us, or what he thought was wrong, but this is pathetic, it’s stupid.

And now I feel bad, because his eyes are glazed over with tears, and it’s all because of me. I’ve never seen him cry because of me. He’s seen me cry because of him, but I never caused him to cry like he has caused me to cry.

“You can’t, Alex, I'm going to go, okay?” If he can’t tell me why he broke up with me, then I can’t help him, I can’t make excuses for him and apologize for something that I don’t know happened.

Back then, he walked all over me. I was the girlfriend that I thought I should be: told him that it was okay that he was coming home a week later than he said he would, told him that it was fine that he was missing my birthday for a concert, told him that I loved him every day, told him it was okay that he went a few days without calling, that I understood.

I let him put his music above me, at a higher priority.

That’s my fault. And now I know better. I want to be someone’s first priority, and I'm not going to make him choose, ever, I'm going to make the choice for him.

I'm going to make sure that he sticks to what he said when he broke up with me, that the two of us aren’t meant to be and the last four years were a waste.

“Logan, can we at least talk about us?” He dyed his hair, I don’t like it, it’s too light, I liked it better natural, or darker; I told him that the dark color suited him well.

I know that there’s nothing to talk about. That he’s not going to tell me why he broke up with me. He’s going to completely overlook it.

I can’t do anything else for him. He’s the most obnoxious person I’ve ever met.

That entire label change, onto a bigger and better label, it changed him. The fame changed him, the entire experience did, I know that.

I’ve never heard him make so many jokes about dicks. I've never heard him sing songs that superficial and meaningless.

Alex isn't the Alex that I loved in high school. That boy changed as soon as he signed to Hopeless, but that was an Alex that I was able to put up with.

This Alex, the one on whatever label they’re on now, that’s not him, and I don’t want him.

I don’t know how I came to this conclusion, it’s not like me. I love Alex, I do, with all my heart, but I can’t keep waiting for him to return back to who he was.

His proposal was a last ditch effort to fix what he broke. But, he didn’t even try the normal way.

“Good night, Alex.” I whisper, turning around and unlocking the door to the apartment. We didn’t stop at the gallery. He wouldn’t. I never understood why, until now.

It’s all about him. It’s always been about him. Our entire relationship was about him. And me, well, I was just the accessory.