[AlexGaskarth] I'm The Only One [Sequel | You're Not The Only One]

[ChapterEleven]

Running a hand through my hair, I glance at Ryan, biting my lower lip. Sighing, I shrug my shoulders, not finding the strength to walk into the restaurant.

Holding her hand out, she forces a smile. “Just talk to Zack and Rian. They’re the reason why we’re going.”

Shaking my head, I place a hand on my stomach, feeling sick. “Jack thinks we’re best friends again.” Closing my eyes, I loll my head backwards, mortified at the situation in general.

Locking the car door, Ryan looks at me, her face contorting with worry. “Are you two best friends again or did he assume that you were?”

Looking at her, I nod, inhaling sharply. “I'm not even friends with the kid. Okay, so I was being nice to him and it felt like old times, but it wasn’t and I would never be friends with him at this point.”

“He’s always going to think that things are back to normal without fixing anything. That’s him. That’s not you. You need things to be fixed.” Ryan says, speaking what I didn’t know how to say.

Nodding, I run a hand through my hair, looking down at my shoes. “What if I can’t stop thinking about the times when we would go out together, just the two of us, or even with you guys, and we would hold hands under the table like we were still in high school?”

Shrugging Ryan presses the lock button on the keys, locking the car. “You can leave whenever you want. I can hitch a ride with one of the guys.”

Shaking my head, I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans. “Ryan, our apartment is six blocks away. I don't know why you even insisted on taking the car.”

Rolling her eyes, Ryan sticks her tongue out at me. “I didn’t want to walk here. I don't even know why they chose this place. How much do you want to bet that we’ll end up paying?”

Laughing, I shake my head, sighing. “That wasn’t funny the first time and it wasn’t funny the last time. I'm okay with paying for a meal, but not when they order lobsters.”

“That was a long time ago.” She says, looking at me, and I only nod in response. “Everything was a long time ago.”

Once again, I’m left to only nod, unsure of what she wanted me to respond with. Tilting my head in the direction of the restaurant, I inhale deeply through my nose, trying to relax.

Ryan nods her head, leading the way to the restaurant. Instead of walking quickly to catch up with her, I slowly walk behind her, dreading this decision.

He shouldn’t be able to have this much control over my life, but he does. Never had he truly had control over what I did for the most part, but now he does.

In the beginning, I would worry about being the girlfriend that he wanted, the one that he didn’t have in Lisa. Eventually, I just became the girlfriend that I thought I should be; apparently whatever I was doing was wrong.

Turning around, Ryan tilts her head to the side, raising an eyebrow. “Do you want me to tell the guys that you got sick?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I shake my head. “I know that Jack will save the seat next to him for me. Sit it in and don’t let him kick you out of it.”

Laughing, she nods, raising an eyebrow as I reach where she’s standing. “It’ll be over before you know it.”

“Just shut up and walk before I flip out on you for not talking me out of this earlier.” Running a hand through my hair, I sigh. “Jack annoys me.”

Nodding, Ryan stretches her hand out, grabbing the handle of the door. “Now you know why I hate hanging out with him.”

&&.

Running a hand through my hair, I sigh, looking down at my lap. His words replayed in my mind, and I couldn’t stop wishing that I wasn’t here.

The conversation bores me, considering I'm not a fan of their new album, because it simply wasn’t them; it was a generic album that was used for airtime and a bigger fanbase.

It isn’t that I don’t listen to it all the time, because I do. I still listen to the first songs that they have ever recorded, even the ones that didn’t make it on the records.

Inhaling deeply, I cross my right leg over my left, playing with the creases in the jeans that I'm wearing, bored and uncomfortable.

Though, I’m not really engaging in the conversation either. I don’t know what to say in front of everyone, because the last time I was in front of everyone, as a whole, I was packing my clothes to leave my old apartment.

“Lo, I can’t believe how amazing your gallery looks.” Rian says, picking his bottle of beer up off of the table, taking a sip of it.

Looking up, I force a smile. “Thank you.” A blush covers my cheeks, and I bite down on my bottom lip, knowing that his intention was to make Alex curious.

Ryan smiles, glancing at Alex out of the corner of her eye, who shifts uncomfortably in his chair, not knowing what to do or say.

Running a hand through my hair, I bite down on my bottom lip again, chewing on it this time. Zack turns to look at me, smiling. “She’s been doing really well.”

Tilting my head to the side, I roll my eyes. “I’ve been doing well. I wouldn’t say that I've been doing really well.”

“Did you see that she still had that one painting up from when we were still in high school?” Jack asks, his question clearly directed towards Zack and Rian, since Alex wouldn’t step foot into the gallery.

Looking at him, I cock my head to the side, wondering why he would bring that up out of all the things that hung on the walls of my gallery.

Glancing at Ryan, I force a smile, one with such tight lips that she knows exactly how I'm feeling and how badly I want to get out of here. She nods, bending to the side to pull the keys out of her purse.

Rian looks at Alex, rolling his eyes at his inattentiveness. “You don't look like you feel well, Lo. Do you want me to take you home?”

Ryan sits up quickly, blinking a few times. “You don't look like you feel well. Rian, I don't think that you know where the two of us live.”

His face goes blank, as he turned his head to look at her, dumbfounded. “I came to your house two days, oh, yeah, I don't think I remember and it’s dark. I don't like driving at night.”

Raising an eyebrow, I run a hand through my hair, confused. “I can drive myself home. Ryan, give me your keys. You know what, I can walk; it’s six blocks away.”

Jack looks at Alex, tilting his head to the side, his eyes widening. “You know what; Alex should go and look at your gallery. Why don't you let Alex take you and stop at your gallery before?”

Glancing at Alex, I watch as he shakes his head, holding back a laugh. Biting down on my lip, I comb my fingers through my hair. “Don't be silly. He wants to enjoy dinner. Don't let me be the downer.”

Pushing myself back in the chair, I stand up, sliding my hands over the hem of my shirt, trying to fix the creases out of.

“I’ll drive you home.” Alex says, his face flushing as he realizes that he had said it aloud. Looking at him, I nod, watching him as he stood up.

Ryan looks up at me, tilting her head to the side, forcing a soft smile. “There should be leftovers in the fridge.”

I don’t like this. I hate them all. I hate Jack the most, right after Alex, he’s second on the list to him. I'm so uncomfortable right now; I think I'm about to puke.

Nodding, not knowing what to do as he slides his hand into mine, intertwining our fingers, leading us out of the restaurant and to his car, I try hard to swallow the lump in my throat.

This was what it used to be like; the two of us leaving together, fingers intertwined. But, it isn’t the old us, and I’m not sure if there was going to be us again.

It was normal for him to do this, and I'm not sure if he’s doing it because it was the norm or because he really wants to.

Either way, I just want him to let go of me, to stop toying with me, to go back to ignoring me, because I liked it better that way. It’s much easier to try to get over him when he’s not around.