[AlexGaskarth] I'm The Only One [Sequel | You're Not The Only One]

[ChapterFour]

When Straight to DVD came out, I learned a lot more about their tour life than I had already known, than what Alex told me.

It was 2009 then, when everything was filmed, and it was only about a year and a half into our relationship. That was probably the worst fight between the two of us, besides the one that lead to him breaking up with me.

I had no idea that they were drinking so much every night. None of them told me about the parties they would throw.

Alcohol and parties never went well, especially for Alex, and that was just my knowledge, I’ve seen it and Jack used to tell me.

At first, he would call every day, and it was nice, he would call right before the show, and I’d wish him luck, he’d say that he loves me, I’d say it back and then we’d continue talking for a while about whatever we thought of and that was that.

Eventually, the calls were less frequent, and I anticipated that, I knew he wasn’t going to call every day, but the fact that he did in the beginning made it harder.

In all honesty, it probably would have been better if he started off calling every once in a while, because when I watched the DVD and I learned that it was super important to stay in contact all the time, I was beside myself.

By that time, Ryan and I had met, and she had also met Zack, when the DVD was released and we were all watching it together in Mrs. Dawson’s basement.

Ryan would look over at me, taking notice at how much discomfort I was in watching my boyfriend flash his penis to the camera and just everything that I didn’t know about.

And it was too much at one point. The guys had invited my parents over to watch it with all of us, their parents, Ryan, them, and me, but it was even worse with them there.

From the beginning, my stepfather, well my dad, hated Alex, simply because of how he treated me before we got together, and I respected my father for that, I understood it.

But, this, the drinking and the flashing and the indifference to almost everything, it wasn’t good for us, for Alex and I.

My father hated him even more, according to my mother. Being the amazing father he is, he kept it between the two of them, he never wanted to tell me.

Thinking back at it now, he probably should have told me. Warned me about all the bad things he saw in Alex. I was blind to them, until I watched that DVD.

Their parents didn’t mention the drinking, simply because Mrs. Dawson and Mrs. Barakat were following them and didn’t seem to notice.

Peter only laughed when he saw that Alex whipped out his penis for everyone to see. And Isobel, she wanted nothing to do with the film in the first place.

We didn’t talk about it for a long time, Alex and I. He had asked me how it was, and I simply smiled and gave him a pathetic thumb’s up.

That was enough for him. It was all he needed, because he didn’t realize that it was a forced smile and an “I fucking want to kill you right now” thumb’s up.

It didn’t take long for me to get over it, but the partying that they did almost every night haunted me, all the time.

I don’t know if he has cheated on me, and if he has I don’t know how many girls he’s slept with. There’s no reason to ask the guys; it would break their stupid bro code if they told me and they’d tell Alex that I asked them.

There, I, there was no explanation as to why he broke up with me. Ryan asked Zack and he didn’t even know. I asked Rian, because he’s my new Jack, and he said that he had no idea, but he brought over ice cream and Disney movies, so I forgot about it for a while.

And Jack, there was no way in hell that I was asking him. He became just as bad as Alex, and I'm convinced that Straight to DVD was my warning, but I didn’t care at the time; it was easier to just forget about it than to get into a fight and potentially destroy my relationship.

It was just a mess after the DVD came out, and it took a while for things to get back to the way they were. We fought, a lot, about stupid things, because he was this new rockstar who did whatever he wanted in his rockstar life.

But, we got over it. He got over it before I did, and then got mad because I wasn’t over it. Then he started to call me more than he called his friends from high school, and things were fine.

After that, he was the boyfriend that I knew, the one that I loved. He was sweet. On Valentine’s Day, when he couldn’t make it in 2010, he sent flowers and a teddy bear wearing a crystal necklace.

I didn’t ask for that, he didn’t have to buy my love, but him thinking about me was enough. I would have been fine with a card, yet knowing that he would do these things for me made it easier when he was away.

“Listen, as soon as you feel uncomfortable we’ll leave. I just want to show Zack that I came.” Ryan breaks me out of my thoughts, and I couldn’t be any more thankful.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I turn my head to look at her, shaking my head in response. “I’ll leave. It’s like a two block walk from our apartment. There’s no need for you to have to leave.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Ryan sighs. “I can leave if you leave. Besides, it’s always more powerful in numbers.”

Laughing, I run a hand through my hair, suddenly realizing that Alex is going to be on stage and I'm going to be in the crowd and he can easily see me from up there and that’s not okay because I don’t want to see him and I'm positive that he doesn’t want to see me.