Every Ending (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 20

Kabanata 20

Clearly

"I just wanted to say sorry for what I've said to you back then... Uhh... at your resthouse. I know it's really rude to say such things. Especially that you're helping us that time... Uhm..."

I lick my lips as I think about what should I said next. There are many things on my head right now, explanations, reasons, and many things. The problem is... I didn't know what should I say first. Naguhuluhan na talaga ako.

"Sorry talaga, Gen... At... uhmm..."

I closed my eyes tight. I hit myself for that. Fool! Mamaya na kayo magkikita tapos wala pa ring progress 'yung pagpapractice mo!

I know that this thing was really a stupid idea. Pero wala naman akong maisip na ibang paraan para kapag nagkiya kami, may masabi naman akong matino.

It's Tuesday morning, and I am busy preparing our breakfast and practicing my speech for Gen at the same time.

I am very pressured since I still can't organize what should I say the moment we meet! Ang masama pa nito, mamaya na 'yon!

The hell, right?!

"Amaia?"

I jumped out of surprise when I heard the old woman's voice.

"B-bakit po?" I turned to her holding a piece of kitchen utensil.

The curiousity on her eyes are very evident now. Tsk, ayaw ko pa naman na naghihinala 'to. Feeling ko kasi ay ay kapag naghinala siya, hindi siya pwedeng magkamali kaya naman aalamin at aalamin niya 'yon hanggang sa mapatunayan niyang tama siya.

"Ano na namang nangyayari sa'yo?" Aniya.

I acted as if I'm confused. "Ano po?"

"Bakit nagsasalita kang mag-isa?"
Mapanuri niyang tanong.

Narinig pa pala ako.

"Uhh... nagrereview lang po ako, la. May recitation po kasi kani mamaya." I lied and turned away. Umaktong busy sa pagpiprito ng itlog.

Feeling ko tuloy, ang sama sama ko na. Palagi na lang kasi akong nagsisinungaling sa kanya. It's not a big deal back then, pero ngayon... nagbago na.

Kapag sinabi ko sa kanya ang problema ko kay Gen alam kong iisipin niyang may gusto ako sa kanya. Though, it's very true. I don't want to lie and tell lies, but I also didn't want her to think too much about that, baka akalain niya na may namamagitan sa amin, kapag nagkataon ay baka mahighblood pa siya.

It's my own problem so I didn't want her to be in a bad condition just for that. Especially that this problem is nonsense, more thing is I am experiencing it because of my own fault.

Nonsense 'cuz if I just didn't have any feelings for him. This will be nothing for me. Baka nga hindi ko 'to nararanasan. Kasalanan ko 'tong lahat dahil sinabi ko sa sarili ko no'n na lalayuan ko siya, but look what happened... Yes, I did my best to avoid him but... I just fell hard.

I've said that I should end it before it starts. But little did I know, I've said that when It's already starting. I've said to myself that I should end this feeling towards him before the worst come but didn't I know that the worst already came.

I know myself. That's why it's easy to conclude that I am falling harder now towards that man. Kahit hindi ko pa 'yon naranasan sa iba, alam kong sobra na akong nahuhulog sa kanya.

But it can't be. Walang patutunguhan ang nararamdaman kong ito lalo na't ako lang naman ang may nararamdaman dito.

It's just a one-sided love, but it doesn't only the reason to stop this thing. Madami pang ibang dahilan para kalimutan ko ang nararamdaman kong ito.