Lost in the Moments [Tom Holland]

Alternate Ending

Thank you all again for reading! I didn't think this would get more than 100 reads so I'm so grateful for you all. As I said before, there was another ending that I was planning to have up until the last few chapters. So in honour of 2k reads I decided to actually write the original planned ending (roughly speaking). I'm not sure which ending is best but I'll leave it to you guys to choose which one you want personally. The first bit of it will be the same as 99% of chapter 15 but after that will be new (replacing chapter 16 and 17 completely). Hope you like it!

As always, stay safe 💕

Song of the Chapter: My Immortal - Evanescence (aka the song that inspired it all)

To be alone is the last thing I want right now. It gives me too much time to think. The last thing I want to think about is also the only thing that crosses my mind. Every time I close my eyes I see Tom covered in blood in the car after the truck hit us followed by the covered body being pushed on a stretcher. Even with eyes open I could picture it clearly, as if it was happening over and over again. I wish now more than ever that I could return to reliving moments of my life with Tom in my head so I could forget that there will be no more moments between us. There is no doubt in my mind that this is the most painful experience of my life. Hell, I would relive the night we broke up a thousand times if it meant that Tom was still alive.

My mind races to find something else to think about, but it all leads back to the crash. It's clear I can't escape it. It was supposed to be a joyous weekend filled with family, laughter, and love, but instead it was filled with pain and death.

Emily comes into the room for her final check in on me before shift change. She asks me questions but I hardly register them giving only nods or slight head shakes in reply. Her presence in the room vanishes as quickly as it arrived. Alone again I opt to stare out the window. Little birds bob up and down as they make their way across the concret of the rooftop of the building across the lane. There is a small group of them gathered together as if they are having a reunion. Somehow something even this small reminds me of the accident, probably because Tom and I were on our way to a reunion ourselves. But it is also mesmerizing to watch them. I decide to name each of them and create a backstory and dialogue for why they are gathering on such an ominous rooftop instead of the garden on top of the hospital in attempts to forget about Tom and the accident. The largest bird with the grey and black feathers is Carol, the most powerful and baddest mobster in London. Two other birds are perched beside Carol, Vincent and Victoria, the mob's most loyal henchmen. Across from them is a lone bird, Marc-Anthony, who betrayed the mob boss by selling information to the rival mob. Before anything interesting develops, the birds scatter quickly at the sudden sound of sirens that emerge as an ambulance rushes from its parking spot, responding to a call. My brief distraction from reality is gone. I can't help but to think that another family might be about to experience the sheer agony of losing a loved one.

I close my eyes as they begin to water again. I pray to every god imaginable that whoever the ambulance is for will be okay, for their sake and their families.

Taking deep breaths to calm myself down and clear my mind from the negative thoughts that flooded into my mind, I close my eyes and try to think of only happy memories with Tom, but at this point that seems impossible. The memory of the night won't leave me alone.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," I apologized, kissing Tom on the forehead as I passed the couch on my way to drop my stuff off in my home office.

"How was work?" Tom asked. He paused his game in order to give me his full attention.

Emerging from my office, I plopped myself on the couch next to Tom and sighed. "It was insane! Bill from accounting is pulling shit again and there was a backlog of paperwork I had to get done."