Hidden /Ticci Toby X Reader/

16 || Lesson Learned ||

I knew he hadn't ever kissed anyone before, I could tell- he wasn't making any movements or attempts to place his hands anywhere but my face.
I found it rather awkward, not exactly charming- I was the one who pulled away, for my own sake.

Once I did I noticed how flushed his cheeks got, a wide smile appeared on his face and I couldn't help but smile back-

"I'm sorry, did I ma-ma-make you uncomfortable I di-didn't mean to I just wasn't thinking cl-clearly and-" he frantically blabbers, waving his hands around and crawling away from me-the smile fading from his face- I was worried he was gonna have another episode of tics and twitches with how fast his expression changed.

"I sh-should've asked first!" He says, bringing his knees to his chest and narrowing his eyes down to the grass beneath him.

"Toby it's okay, really it is." I muttered, remaining in my seating.

That was such an odd reaction, he seems almost afraid to make me feel badly or uncomfortable- I glanced back at him before standing up from my spot.

"Are you alright?"

"Don't you hate me." He states, hands against his chest.

"No-why would I?" I ask.

"Um- I'm not sure, I thought you got mad at me-" he confesses, I shook my head and then said.

"I'm not upset, if anything-" I pause,then look up at the sky above us- small shining stars peaked from space.

"I'm happy, I love star gazing and it's a very clear night." I softly hum, smiling. Toby soon followed my attention.

I slid my fingers to his wrist and I instinctively unclenched my hand, I was holding his hand- I tightened my grip.

when his hand tightened around mine, my body filled with content- I shifted my head back to in front of me, I then began to pull Toby towards the car.

"Oh- do you need something from the car?" He sheepishly asks, technically I did- I wanted to see if we had any blankets in the back.

"Do you have any spare blankets?" I ask, pulling open the truck door- and climbing inside.

"I'm not sure-" Toby leans against the car-door.

My knees fell to the car floor, and with one hand on top of the seat I glance underneath it- I reached over and grabbed what I had thought was a blanket.

I unfolded it.

"I found one!" I say, and carefully hopped off- Toby shut the door behind me and I lead him to the opening of the truck.

I placed my foot ontop of the tire and lifted myself up, swiftly throwing my leg over the side of the truck wall and putting myself down.

Toby didn't move, I thought he would get the hint and join me in the truck but I guess I have to make it clear to him.

I pat down the spot beside me and say-
"C'mon!"

Once Toby joined me, I spread the blanket across our laps- I could tell Toby was getting nervous again, his movements were rigid and he kept avoiding eye contact.

I layed down fully,my hair spreading a bit as my head hit the metal floor- Toby slowly copied.

"Do you know anything about the stars?" I mumble, he shakes his head.

"Well, if you look at those stars-" I point my finger to the line of stars and then the bucket design it made at the end.

"That one is called The Big Dipper, it looks like a pot almost- see it?" I outline it again, Toby inched closer to see exactly where I was pointing- then let out a chuckle.

"Some people say that when someone dies, their soul goes up into the stars." I muttered, the after life will always be a mystery- it's interesting to learn what other people believe.

"So, if I die- my soul will transform into a star, would I be self aware?" Toby asks.

I think for a moment-
"I'm not exactly sure, I'd assume you would be though."

"That sounds peaceful." He adds, I nod my head and agree.

"Are you okay?" I ask, turning my head to see him- he looked back at me and hesitated to answer.

"I thought I ruined everything." He whispers, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I don't know why but I feel so paranoid about how you feel about me." He sighs deeply.

I sat up- then slightly leaned over Toby so I could slide my hands to his face-caressing his cheeks, his dark brown hair dangling sideways- my fingers trace the scars on his skin, the pale pigment- the scars were smooth.

"You shouldn't worry about that, I don't think badly of you." I mumble, my eyes met his- he was able to hold contact this time.

I brought his lips to mine, his body jerked and I pulled away- it was meant to be a quick one, I wasn't expecting anything more.

"I just want to be able to help you."

"You've taken a huge toll on me already, I feel different." He reassures.

"Toby I really think we should go back to society and at least try." My intentions were nothing but pure, for the most part anyway- I really did wish to get him the help he needs, he's mentally ill and if it's not getting treatment then he's gonna continue to hurt people.

"Yeah- I'd like that." He hums, he chuckled as a smile grew on his face- I smiled warmly.

"We should probably ge-get back into the truck, I don't want either of us to get sick." Toby sits up, the blanket slightly shifting off of me- taking a deep breath of the cold night air before shutting the car door.

"Wow it's still warm in here." I chirp, inside the car was a soothing temperature- hoping up front, I sat down in the passenger seat.

"I hope we're safe out here, it's not very good that we're in a clearing though." Toby glances out of the windows a few times- I'm assuming checking if there's anything near us.

"Goodnight Toby." I say.

He turns back to me then mumbles
"Goodnight."

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|| //Welcome to Hidden Ticci Toby X Reader// ||

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This chapter was probably boring as hell im so sorry y'all

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