Bruised// l.h au

Chapter Fifty One

//if there are many mistakes I apologize in advance it’s three in the morning and my eyes are burning from lack of sleep and this is not the last chapter, the next one is//

Blaze;

For a long period of time, emptiness was a word that could define my life where all I knew was this eternal darkness. Sometimes, when the night skies shelter me, I sit down and isolate myself from the energizing world and wonder why I felt those excruciating sensations. A wave of burden doesn’t hesitate to knock over my content state when I get lost in the memories of how I was. In a sense, I was frustrated with the egotistical girl I used to be. When the path I drew out is leading me to a life of recovery, I can’t comprehend how a little girl would throw away her potential for substances and inflicted pain when she had so much attention, love from her family members, and such a peaceful life.  

The rapid pace of my heart reassured my questioning of reality while I attempted to ease my nerves. The soothing air glided along my arms while I took deep breaths of the acquainted scent I grew up upon. My eyes followed the birds that soared in the scattered cloudy sky and my ears listened to the crashing of waves from the beach that was only a block away from the hotel we stayed at. My gray shirt would move along my chest with my russet curls I released from my braid. The overall sight was memorizing and nice to the eyes.   

My phone rested between my sun-kissed thigh and palm while my bitten fingernails tapped along the silent electronic, eager for a call I knew would surely come least expected. I desired to act as if no worry washed within me when the boys left my drowsy eyes this morning but I couldn’t as the day grew older. Today could take either route and I don’t believe my mind could take another argument if things don’t sail simply in the sea of possibilities.

“When are you coming back inside?” I looked up to Rain, whose brown hair danced along her face.

“I didn’t realize how long I was out.” I sighed. ‘It’s pretty nice out here, never noticed when I was a kid but now I do.”

Rain sat down on the dark wooden bench, watching me with eyes of interest. “You’ve been here before?”

I nodded my head. “A lot of parties are thrown in Hollywood.” I half laughed, positioning my head to the shards of grass moving along with the winds.

“You seem a little off. I understand you’re nervous because I am too, but you seem distant. You’re not planning on leaving Luke if they do get signed, you are staying, right?” Rain’s voice fell into an undertone of alarm.

“Of course I am.” I dismissed her spark of an idea quickly. “I’m just afraid.”

“Why, of what?”

“I told Luke I loved him.” I faced her, perceiving her irises dilating. “I meant it.”

“I know you did.” Rain shook her head, speaking in a nonchalant manner.

“How?” I questioned her, watching how a smirk adapted onto her flushed cheeks.

“If my boyfriend said something insanely wrong, like he only used me for sex, I would have left him before another second past.” She explained, her eyes attached to the ground.

“I knew he didn’t mean it, even if his words hurt.”

“I know you did, because when you love someone you know them better than they know themselves.”  

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My fingers ran over the sloppy handwriting written on the crumbled, coffee stained piece of paper that I read with adulation thick in my eyes. Even though his message was a puzzle not easy to figure out, I couldn’t help but feel flattered over how he tried to make sense of it. Even when fatigue pulled down my eyelids I still found myself going over the paper more times than I could count.

“Baby!” My heart skipped a beat, my impulse was to shed the comforter from my soft skin and race to where the sound located.

My feet carried me along the mess of clothes that decorated our bedroom floor and into the living room, where smiles and open arms welcomed the drained Rain and I. Flickers of happiness went across their eyes and even a few tears fled the creases of Luke’s glimmering ones while he pulled me into his chest. Kissing the top of my hair, he whispered the sentence I was waiting to here since the alarm went off in the morning.

I jumped back, glee mounting a grin on my face. “I’m so proud of you guys, holy fucking shit!”

I hugged Ashton, admiring the dimples that engraved itself on his skin while his dry lips shaped into a smile. “This is most likely the best news I could ever receive. They gave us a layout of how the rest of this year is going to play out and I just can’t wait to make music!”

“And I can’t wait to get laid tomorrow night! They’re throwing us a party and important people are coming!” Michael chimed in, waving his lanky arms in the dark room.

Calum rolled his eyes, his hand smoothing out Rain’s hair as her face was buried in his chest. “We have to make a good impression.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Luke interjected. “But John said it himself there hasn’t been a breakout artist that’s taken over the world since One Direction. He said with our talent and our looks that within two years of being in the public eye we can get that attention!”

I kissed his cheek, grabbing his focus. “Alright boys looks like you have all had a very big day so how about we go to sleep?”

Everyone agreed, retrieving to their rooms with joy trailing behind them.

“I love you so much baby, our life is about to be amazing!”

And just like that the guilt hit me.

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hmm wonder what you all think blaze meant by that ;)))

thank you so much to everyone who wished me well, you all are so amazing and i love you lots

and again thanks to everyone who reads this story, votes and comments, it always means the world to me!!

q.o.t.d

fav quote?

destroy yourself, see who gives a fuck