Bruised// l.h au

Chapter Nineteen

Blaze:

One key to recovery, was to write out your emotions on paper. That only made tears cloud my eyes and my body ache. I hated knowing I had a problem, I hated knowing I had to fix it, that I couldn't live this way. And as my hand clenched around a pen, scribbling my emotions on a white piece of paper, I couldn't help but cry. I felt corrupted, lost, anxious, and unwanted. I couldn't shake it off, as if these emotions were stitched into my skin. I felt like ripping my hair out, I was officially off the rails. Tears drenched my clothes and blood stained my wounded arms as my eyes ran down the words I wrote.

Times like these, Luke would knock on my window. He'd stand there with an intoxicated grin, slurring inaudible phrases as his feet tottered to my bed. I would roll down my sleeves, wipe away my smudge makeup, and force a smile on my lips. He would beam towards me, rambling about the randomness things before his stunning eyes drifted away in the most peaceful manner. When the skies gleamed with pink and purple Luke would thank me for letting him crash and crawl out my window. And that's how most of my nights played. Drunk or not, when Luke was around me, I had this sudden urge to be happy. Not a week ago though, that day, I saw the monster that I heard in my head, he stood right in front of me.

I missed Luke, and it was bizarre to admit that. Calum had tried replacing Luke, and it only made me feel slight miffed. Luke and I had an exotic friendship, not even we could wrap our heads around it. I did realize, that Calum cared about everything, even a small flower, peaking behind weeds in a tiny garden. He always smiled, even when the weather was shitty. I admired that, but still, he couldn't take Luke's place. He just couldn't.

--

I woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache and stinging skin. I winced, my feet prolonged myself to the sink so I could wash away the remanding evidence of last night's deadly battle. My eyes drifted from the red dying my sink to my reflection. I wanted to cry at the sight of my disarranged hair and lifeless eyes. Tying my broken self together, my arm reached for my covert box that rested behind the toilet. Opening it up, I impulsively clutched the makeup that always protected my battle wounds from the judgmental atmosphere I was living in. Applying everything I needed to, I deeply exhaled, stashing it away back into the unknown.

I fixed my flannel as I walked down the hallway towards the kitchen. My nostrils were approached with assorted foods as my eyes intensified at the sight of the room. My father stood there, a smile on his shaved face and deep dimples engraved in his cheeks. A black suit gripped to his muscular body, having his jet black hair and icy blue eyes stand out more.

"Dad!" I screamed like a child, running into his arms.

"Blaze!" He tightly held me into his chest, his chin resting on my scalp.

"I've missed you." I admitted, my emotions sending a pool of tears to my eyes.

"Nathan, you have other kids you know." My Mother interrupted our hug, coughing disturbingly.

My Father pulled me away, quick to drape his arm over my neck. "Sophia, calm down! I already had my hello's with the others. Stop picking on Blaze!" I sighed in relief, finally having my protector again.

"You act like I'm a villain." My Mother murmured, kneeling down towards the hot oven.

I stifled a laugh, shrugging my shoulders at my Father's warning glare. Moving away from him, I jumped on the vibrant red stool behind the kitchen counter full of my Father's favorite foods. My Dad sat next to me, straightening his collar before he pushed his chin onto his palm, his face angling to mine.

"So, I've been gone pretty much since you've started school." He stated, opening his mouth to speak again. "The store opening in London was amazing, your grandparents missed you loads." I frowned at his sentence and waited for him to finish his thoughts. "But what have I missed? Friends? Boys?" He smirked, a faint laughter coming from Rider who sat on our leather couch, his eyes memorized by the moving images on the television.