Off The Streets | Clexa AU

17) I'm Sorry

Lexa thinks about what she should do for nearly an hour before she decides that she has to ask Clarke about it and confront her. She needs answers.

With her mind made up, Lexa gets up from her bed and opens her door. She briskly walks over to Clarke's art room, her face empty from emotion. When she enters, Clarke is talking on the phone and her expression shows how surprised she is.

"I'll call you back." Clarke says into the phone quickly and hangs up. When she notices the dried tears on Lexa's face and her red, puffy eyes, her expression changes to one of worry. "Baby, what's wrong? Why were you crying?" She walks rapidly toward the brunette and opens her arms.

Lexa takes one step back and looks away from Clarke's eyes. Clarke senses the tension and also stops in her tracks.

"Lex...." Clarke says, confused. "Tell me. You're scaring me."

Lexa finally lifts her gaze and Clarke nearly shivers at the cold stare. "Why were you emailing Azgeda's lawyers as well as trying to contact my old bosses in prison?"

Clarke furrows her eyebrows and remembers what she had been looking at the past few days on her laptop. She had completely forgotten about it and scolds herself for leaving everything open. "Lexa, I don't know what you think I've been doing but I had no bad intentions-"

"Please just answer me, Clarke." Lexa says with a strained voice and tears threatening to spill again.

Clarke cannot handle seeing her girlfriend like this, her heart aches at the mere sight of her pain. "I...Lexa I didn't email them..."

"I saw them on your laptop, Clarke! You can't deny it because I saw them myself!"

The blonde is taken aback at the sudden outburst and hurt in Lexa's voice. "I didn't send them. I thought about it, but I didn't send any emails."

"Why are you doing that, though?" Lexa asks in a quiet, broken voice. Her tears finally rolling down her cheeks slowly.

"Whatever you think I did, I didn't do it. I promise. You wouldn't be this hurt if you knew what I was actually doing." Clarke feels her own eyes burn with tears when she sees Lexa's bottom lip tremble. "I just wanted to help..."

"Help with what?" Lexa asks in exasperation.

Clarke takes a small step closer but not close enough to make Lexa uncomfortable. She sighs, "I want them to pay for what they did. For what they did to you..."

Lexa takes a moment to contemplate. She had briefly thought about that possibility but she would need more explanation to believe it. It still doesn't excuse the fact that she told Clarke not to do anything. That trust remains broken. "I told you not to do anything-"

"I know, but I couldn't just sit back and let them threaten you, keeping you somewhat under their control. They've hurt you and I can't get over that."

"What happened, happened. I don't want to think back to that. You should've left it alone, Clarke." Lexa wipes her tears with the sleeve of her shirt and takes a deep breath before voicing her thoughts. "How do I know that you're telling the truth, though?"

Clarke frowns and waits for further explanation. When Lexa doesn't say anything else, she continues. "What do you mean telling the truth?"

"How can I be sure that you're telling me the truth—that you were just trying to get justice for me. How can I know that you weren't just using me and working with them to keep me quiet?"

Clarke's eyes widen. That felt like a slap in the face. Clarke would never do something like that. It hurt that Lexa would even think that. "Lexa I would never in a million years do that. I wouldn't ever use you. Why would you think that? I hate them just as much you do. If they even approached me to pay me off to work against you, I would never do it. Not for all of the money in the world."