my girl

chapter 7

"you have no reason to be upset" she said attempting to fully cover her body, I was panting and trying my hardest to get away from her then the tears started. Like a water park uncontrollable tears fell down my cheeks, I backed away from her every time she tried to come close.

"you made me do it" the words bitterly rolled off her tongue and just like knives dealt my heart a final blow.

I flew up out of my sleep trying to control my breathing. "she's in my dreams again" I whispered holding my face in my hands, "miles away from her and she still torments me" I rolled out of bed in an attempt to gather myself. I haven't had a dream like that in a while but whenever I do they're always hectic and remind me of pieces of a person I'd rather forget.

today's the day I'm supposed to go on that date with James and I am still unsure of what to wear, the two pieces that i had bought yesterday would have to be one on which I would wear tonight. my phone buzzes and I see a text from an unknown number.

*the venue will be at a restaurant downtown near the pier; i'll send you the information.* upon reading the text I quickly realized who it was. I made sure to respond to his text letting him know that it sounded good and he told me that he'd be here by five after I sent him my address.

getting ready would probably be the worst part of this entire experience, I mean if he is good at keeping s conversation then maybe dinner won't be so hard to suffer through. "ugh" I groaned face palming myself, "i hate this already" was the last thing I said when I heard shuffling noises coming from my bed.

"good morning" I smiled at storm who was fussing in a pile of blankets. I would definitely have to leave her alone today maybe this would help her get used to being in the apartment by herself for when i start going to work regularly.

After a brief session of scrolling through instagram, watching obviously fake reality shows and cleaning my apartment I finally decided to start putting myself together for tonight, I started with a nice soothing shower with the water set at the perfect temperature to calm whatever feeling of uneasiness I had built up.

"you know i'd do anything you ask me to" I listened to clairo's voice travel through my speakers and bounce off the walls as I sang along doing my makeup. my hair was the last thing left and since he mentioned the venue I thought it would call for a more formal look so I slicked my hair to the back and did a little loose bun making sure to brush in everything.

I did a final swoop at the front then
went to find something to wear. Most of the clothes I had were for simple outings by myself, nothing for a date and who could blame me either, no one has been interested in me for a good while now and this is a whole new experience being on my own.

I looked at the clothes I bought yesterday. I would have to choose between a black dress with a slit at the side or a very dark red longer dress with a back slit. I had gotten a feel of the weather this evening when I opened the windows and the city wasn't chilly at all, it was more of a mild and comforting type weather so I decided to go with the black dress. I slid on a pair of black heels and did a few little touch ups before I checked my phone to see that it was already 4:49 meaning James would be here soon.

I checked to see if I had everything I would possibly need including a small knife I always carry around because you really never know. Saying my final goodbyes to storm I placed some food and water in her doggy bowls then closed up the apartment. It wasn't long before I saw what looked like a Mercedes Benz? I wasn't quite sure I know nothing about cars, as it slowly approached me on the sidewalk I saw James in the front seat as he flashed me a little smile which I returned.

As soon as he stopped the vehicle he came out of his side and opened the door for me, I thanked him then went inside and buckled my seatbelt. "You look really nice" he said glancing over at me from time to time as he focused on the traffic in front of us, "thank you" I replied to his compliment feeling a bit confident in my outfit choice.

The rest of the ride was filled with mostly small talk, getting to know each other better and so on. He seemed to be very invested in why I would want to move away from my family so early but I decided to withhold that information. We pulled into a beautifully lit venue and I was in complete awe at the scenery. Once again James got out of his side to hold the door for me which I thanked him politely. I was still taking in how amazing the place looked, the water glistened with lights coming from the deck, The kitchen itself seemed to be floating on water with lights streamed across a board walkway leading to the seating area.

James led the way as it seemed as if he was very acquainted with the area and he knew where exactly to go so I just quietly followed behind him. He led me to a quieter section with a nice table and small fairy lights around it along with little lamps and lanterns, there were other persons around but the tables had a decent amount of space between them to give persons their privacy I guess.

As soon as we were seated a kind waitress came over and handed us our menus, told us about the chef's special as well as a special dessert for couples on dates..even though I tried to tell her we weren't actually a couple James beat me to it accepting it anyway. I shrugged in my chair and looked around for a bit, the water was so lovely and captivating under the moonlight. My mind began to drift off to a familiar face, the moon reminded me of her, the way she effortlessly did things was captivating enough.  "So you want to look through the menu?, She said she'll be back in a little while to take our orders" I was pulled from my thoughts.

"Yeah sure" I said smiling at him. I settled on Alfredo pasta with a side serving of garlic bread and James went with a caesar salad served with ranch. As we waiting on our meals a bit of small talk sparked up again. "You don't talk much do you?" James asked and if I had a dollar for every time I was asked that I would have enough to actually pay for dinner. "No I don't really but if you do catch me in a topic i'm passionate about you will get more than a full conversation out of me" I said playfully and he caught on to my light mood.

More questions flowed in most of them about me, I figured that this was maybe his way of trying to figure me out which I doubt was going to happen even if he dedicated his life to it. Thankfully our food came cutting into his speech about how stocks are changing and some other things my brain couldn't process.

I took my time to finish my meal occasionally looking out at the water, "you like it?" James' voice disrupted my concentration. "Like what?" I asked him obviously confused as to what he was even talking about, "the water, you can't seem to get your eyes off it" he stated. Was I so zoned out that the water has been the only thing i've been paying attention to? I almost giggled at myself but tried my best and  kept it in.

I explained to him that I was just in love with the view and he meaningfully agreed. We finished up dinner then came the cutest looking cake on a heart shaped plate. "Oh nooo" I mouthed to James and he laughed a little putting his finger on his lips gesturing for me to stay quiet probably so that we could get a free dessert. It was a chocolate mocha cake with coconut shavings on it and little strawberries sat on the top in the shape of a heart.

We each took a few pictures enjoying the moment then ate our fair share of cake. By the end of the night I felt like I was going on to my third trimester, James paid for dinner and walked me back to the car. He dropped me off at my apartment and I told him that I had a good time tonight, he expressed that he enjoyed it too. We said our goodbyes and I walked back into my apartment.