I'm a horrible author...

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I am so sorry. I feel like the worst person in the world. You guys are eagerly waiting for new chapters and stories and here I am, drowning in sorrow and laziness. Words aren't able to describe the lack of motivation that I'm having, though that isn't an excuse for the rare updates. I feel as though it is connected to the loneliness that I deal with everyday.

I find it funny that I have you guys, yet I feel so... alone and unloved. You're probably thinking that I'm some moody teen with raging hormones, and that's probably the case, but I just feel like I have no reason to live. It's like I'm just here, for the sake of being here. All I do is dwell in my dimly lit room and do absolutely nothing. My "friends" rarely talk to me, reminding me that I am destined to be alone. I have no one, my father and siblings are apathetic, my mother hates me and everyone else is gone.

I'm not trying to attract attention or sympathy, I want you guys to know that my state isn't allowing me to be the best author I can be. An author should be dedicated to the stories they write, I'm not even up to that expectation. I'm a pathetic excuse for an author and a human being, and for that I am so, so sorry. There are other authors, doing the same damn thing as me, putting their hearts into it, and receiving nothing. It's unfair that I have this much love, and I can barely feel it, it's like I've lost feelings of love. I guess if you are staying in your room without leaving for days, you realise that loneliness can cover the things that you once endeared.

Hopefully I can get out of this saddened state and be someone. Thank you guys for being here, even though I'm having a hard time feeling love, I am very appreciative of it...

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