I Don't Eat CupCakes (wattys2015)

Chapter Three

I can never truly love anyone ever again.

*****

"You look like you haven't eaten in days" I haven't, is what I want to say. But if I say that I'd be put into therapy and an institution for people like me all all that other stuff to make me eat and I can't do that.

"You should eat a burger with bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions the whole shebang." I freak out over the calories just that one burger would give me. It would be enough calories for a whole month just in one day.

"No thanks," I hurry out. "I'm fine with my Apple, Ms. Helena." I smile up at the lady's warm face.

"If you say so. Now you go and hang out with Tiffany, if you need anything just holler I will whip you up a whole buffet to fatten you up."

"Of course, Ms. Helena." Tiffany and I hurry up into her room and she shuts the door behind her.

"I think my mom likes you more than me."

"Of course she does," I joke and Tifanny glares at me and gives me a playful slap but she has no idea how much that really hurt but I don't show it. She knows that I don't have the best relationship with Eric but she doesn't know how he actually treats me, she doesn't know how much I really don't eat when she's not around. I do it for her. I fake my smiles so that she doesn't worry over me and I eat when I come to her house but the second she turns away I'm in the bathroom puking up the food and calories that come with it that I can't burn with exercise. I'm too weak for it.

"Anyways how's your relationship with Eric going lately?" I think about how I should respond. 'Its going great he's treating me like a princess and he's the perfect gentlemen I don't know how I was living before I met him' or 'not so great, I think I should break up with him before he tries to rape me again, I can't take his abuse anymore it hurts too much to take.'

I think I'll go with the first one.

"Its going great." Now time to change the topic before I confess and spill my guts out to my best friend who I should be telling everything to and not hiding.

"What about you? Got anyone you crush on lately?" She shrugs.

"No. And I can tell you it's boring not having anyone to stalk during my free time." I laugh at this. A real genuine laugh that only she can make me do.

"Hope you find your next victim then." 

"Me too." And we grin.

"So what should we watch; man of steel, amazing Spider-Man, or iron man 3?" I ponder before just letting her decide.

"I'm going with the amazing Spider-Man, good with you?" I nod.

"Great then I'm getting the popcorn and you setup the movie." She walks away before I have time to respond-the norm.

I get up from her bed and place the DVD inside and wait for the tv to start as I sit back down on her bed. The trailers play and I can hear the beep of the microwave down stairs and get excited. If there is one thing I would break my diet for is popcorn at a movie night-with no butter or salt of course and that's why Tiffany always has two separate bowls for us.

I hear a sound but ignore it thinking that it's Tiffany's mother or Tifanny herself but it sounds like it's near so I look around her room and my eyes fall onto the window. And just in time to see dark brown eyes that look almost black staring right at me. His eyes remind me of Adams and immediately I'm filled with fear and my eyes are wide and I'm ready to scream but Tiffany enters the room with two bowls of popcorn and two cups of soda obviously struggling to hold them up.

"You going to help me or what?"

"Yeah of course." I look back to the window but the eyes are gone. I help Tiffany put the snacks on the bed and then run over the windows and close the curtains. Don't want to get a heart attack in the middle of the movie. That'll be a lot of explaining for me to do.

The movie starts to play and the eyes are forgotten as I am having a good time with my best friend. I reach over to the side to grab my popcorn and put some in my mouth. It tastes different to me and it's really good and even tastes better than any popcorn than I've ever had. I reach for more but Tiffany's hand slaps mine.

"Stop eating my popcorn, Diane."

"You-you're popcorn?" I swallow. No. No no no no. All that butter and salt I just ate. I shouldn't have done that. I should've known it wasn't my popcorn the second it touched my taste buds. I should have checked if it was my bowl in the first place.

I rush to bathroom and use the technique I've learned to use for years- I shove my fingers down my throat and I start to gag and soon I'm throwing up chunks of popcorn. The door bursts open and Tiffany is there holding my hair up.

I should have locked the door. I forgot to lock the freakn door!

"I should've know something was going on with you. You were looking thinner and paler and less healthy and weak. But now I'm sure that something is wrong and you have to tell me, you can't lie to me anymore. We're best friends." I hear worry and disappointment in her voice and that's when I knew my secrets out. I finally need to tell my best friend what's going on with me.

I struggle to get up from the floor but with the toilet and the support of Tifanny I'm up. I wash my face that's now all heated up and rinse my mouth to get rid of any vomit.

"From the beginning?"

"From the beginning."

I take a deep breath and....