Holy crap noodles-
I haven't updated in.... way too long. Just way too long.
No, this story isn't over I just had some time which I had major writers block or mental blockers that made it hard to write.
Also, this chapter will have some mentions of-
Deppression
Suicide
Self Harm
Etc.
If these may trigger you, please do skip.
Your mental health is more important than this book :)
The bloodied napkins fell into the trashcan. America looked down at his bandaged arms and sighed. The strange whiteness of the bandages seemed to remind him of some other place. Some other world. That place where you're almost gone and there is only a small breath left. Where the only thing that could save you then was your own will to survive. That strange world where that is right between life and death, filled with all the regret and pain that had ever been in your life. The whiteness drowns you in that place only you could pull yourself out of.
His vision blurred. The world seemed to almost change. He could barely see his hands in front of him. Everything he could see was suddenly in the background of some strange dream except the perfect white bandages. They seemed to always come back despite everything he tried to do. Drown himself in pills. Sing to the world. Even take the pain away himself. But the bandages always came back. They would never leave him alone; he was trapped in that white hole of pain.
At least he thought he was.
Someone finally threw him a rope. Someone finally pulled him out of the endless white that tried so hard to drown him. A bit of color that reached in and ended the monotony of America's broken world. Strong arms dipped in red and blue wrapped around him, shaking the singleness of his vision.
America jolted from his strange hallucination. Someone was holding him close, their arms wrapped around him with their head in his shoulder. Ame blinked and turned slightly to look at who it was. A white cascade of hair was tickling his neck. He couldn't help but chuckle slightly. The hair moved, the country looking up at him.
They had deep, crystal blue eyes that seemed to be from the ocean. Flecks of white and green danced deep in the endless blue. Even the black pupils of their eyes seemed to be an endless pit of the ocean, trying to drag America down into their depths. A few strands of white hair fell over their eyes. They looked like swirls of snow dancing through the sky.
America blushed softly as he recognized the country whose eyes he was staring into. Russia smiled softly at him; his arms still wrapped around America's waist.
"You feeling any better?" The Russian's voice was deep, a heavy accent lacing his words in a strangely beautiful way. America couldn't help but feel some bit of comfort from the large Russian wrapping his arms around him.
"Yeah... better..." America looked away, pushing away the blush on his face. It wasn't right and it never would be. This was USSR's son. He shivered slightly, a hand slowly moving up and touching his blind eye. It made him sick to feel the deep scar digging into his skin and cutting through his eye. All that was left was a disturbing line where the doctors had sown the skin back together. He could feel the tears running down his face on his other cheek. For a moment he was falling back in that white void.
America was pulled back to the world as someone ran a finger across his cheek. Russia was sitting beside him, holding him close.
"I know you aren't a fan of touching but... you looked like you needed a hug..." Russia chuckled nervously, his other hand running along his neck. America nodded slightly and glanced back down at the bandages that Russia had wrapped around his arms. They suddenly didn't feel as controlling as they had before. As suffocating. Somehow, Russia being there with him made them so feel like he had some control over the void that threatened to consume him.
Ame smiled slightly and looked back up at Russia. The Russian locked eyes with him, those gorgeous blue eyes entrancing him into a world where maybe he didn't hurt as much as he did now. The two sat there for a few minutes, saying nothing.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
Not as long as I would like but hey, it has been awhile.
Also I'm thinking of writing another book on Russia and Amrus after America's death but not sure-
Anyway, have a good day!
And as always, keep smiling! :)
YOU ARE READING
Where We All Began (Countryhumans RusAme AU)
FanfictionAmerica rarely ever came out of his estate, and when he did, it was only to visit his many siblings. But when the other countries force him to join the Complex, a building built by UN for countries to stay and keep the peace, everything goes downhil...
