The Only String Attached

32

Today I will tell her my point of view from every situation we faced.

"I loved you Bela..I..I realized it.I loved Bani too..but you were my best friend,I couldn't accept it myself that I was in love with you...maybe because we had that tag called 'best friends'.My love for you got diluted due to Bani's love.But my heart was not ready to accept  that you left,and when I got to know that you loved me...I was speechless.Maybe I should have talked to you that time.And my past is past..I don't care about it anymore.My future is with you Bela",I said.

She removed my hands from her waist and turned towards me with tears flowing from her eyes.

"No...no..I don't know weather you loved me in our college time or not..but you loved di.And she is no more because of me",Bela said crying.

"Bela what are you talking...she dint die because of you,you dint...",she cut me off in middle.

"She hated me...I read her journal Mahir...I read her journal.She chosed the baby over her..but somewhere even I'm a reason for that",she yelled.

She read the journal?

Fuckkk!!

Not again...even she is thinking like how I thought before.

I cupped her face and said
"Bela...you can't blame yourself like this.I will tell you one thing.Just listen.Bani's health was not in her favour..she had to die if she gives birth to Mahira.She wanted to have her baby,and she got a chance to bring you back through that.It was not your fault,you dint kill her.Don't make Bani's natural death as a murder Bela,it was written in her fate",I said and she was sobbing.

"I know...everyone are telling this because I should not feel guilty,but..I am feeling it like that Mahir.I did not loose my sister...I lost my mother.Bani di was my mother...and she..and she",she was blabbering.

"Bela...Bela calm down...calm down.I want to ask you few questions,will you answer me honestly?"I asked cupping her face.

She nodded wiping her tears.

"You loved me in the past right?"I asked.

"Yes..I love you even today,tomorrow..until my last breathe",she replied.

"OK,so did I or Bani told you about our love?"I asked.

She shaked her head telling 'no'.

"You wanted to tell about your love to me,but I told about my love to Bani even before you could tell me.So where are you wrong Bela?"I asked.

"You are nowhere wrong Bela..no where.You know I just realized that..that you love me more than anyone else,more than Bani,more than my mom too.I dint understand how I got so lucky getting you in my life.Yes,I loved Bani..but I loved you also...there was an incomplete equation between us,you realized that it was love but..me,I'm a dumb...I thought it was just an attraction",I choked.

"I will tell you frankly Bela,I was always thinking about you even after I got married to Bani.Bani is a brave one,she understood that I loved you...but me being an ass..I couldn't realize.I'm sorry Bela...I've hurted you a lot.I've hurted you in every way..it's my fault.You left your family because of me...it's all because of me.I'm sorry Bela",I sobbed kissing her hands.

We both slumped on the floor facing each other.

"Don't be sorry Mahir...your not at fault..I...I realized that..no one is wrong in this matter.We three were in a fix,we three are correct from our perspectives.Don't be sorry",she held my hand sobbing.

"I'm such a fool..I'm such a fool.I just let my happiness flew away to states so easily..I never thought I would be in pain after you left.I'm the one who should be guilty in this fasico..not you or Bani.I don't know what have I done to get you both sisters in my life",I broke down.