Repulsion

73.

"So? Brother huh!?", I asked David who was deep in thoughts.

We were sitting in a corner sipping coffee while Dad was sitting in the portico working.

Being a brother to a little sister is one of the best feelings in the world. Whenever I used to sulk over Eve, I always thought David would never feel my grief. But right now, I see him in a different light.

"Yeah!! A brother! The idea is hard to digest but I am thinking about all what we have missed, and all what I can do to compensate."

I chuckled, "Well, our relationship changes too. I am your little sister's boyfriend!"

He narrowed his eyes at me, "I wouldn't approve of you for her! And now I will decide when she is allowed to spend time with you!", he smirked smugly.

God no!!!
He will make my life hell!

"Don't forget David! You were the one who suggested me to bed her for the first time!! Remember!?", Now it was my turn to smirk on seeing his baffled expression.

I continued, "Don't you want to hear the details of what I do with her when we are...."

I am interrupted by a smack on my shoulder, "Gross! Shut up your mouth before I disable your kids making skills!"

"No no! I will tell you!"

"Ashton!!! Fuck off you dick!"

"Yeah my di..."

And then he starts singing like a whale, "James!!! Shut your son's mouth before I make him!!!!!"

Dad ignored us and went upstairs. Well, it was our usual.

E R I C A

I wipe the sweat off me and look at the mirror again. It is one in the night and, i tire myself so much so my body can finally succumb to sleep. A sleep with no nightmares.

I won't take any sleeping pills. That would push me back to where I came from.

I fall on the bed hoping for the better this time, counting in my head till sleep takes me over.

But guess what!? It never comes.

It was not meant to be this painful for me!

Frustrated I sit up and open the drawer where my doom was kept. Anti-depressent pills. Sleeping pills.

Why was I still carrying them? Because I was always scared this day would come. Though I thought I would meet my father.

But the thought that my father never knew about my existence makes me laugh at myself. How naive I was to aspire of things that would never come to me?

Lifelessly I go to the balcony, determining myself to not look at those pills. I spread the mattress there and lie down under the stars. The fact that my bed was cold wasn't helping.

I thought several times to call him and tell him to come here but the fact that I was the one to walk out, and that for once I will have to cope up without him overpowered. I cannot depend on him for life. And right now, if I call him, the fear that I am nothing without him will become true.

My body shivered with the cold wind, and so I snuggled up more in the heat of my blanket.

You can do this! You have done it once! You'll do it again.

*

I wake up startled when a flower pot falls off the threshold. And then I see a crow destroying my little plants.

I stand up immediately and shoo him away.

I looked at the plant that was broken from its branches, and the soil was spread all around.