Precious | Kylo Ren x Reader | Precious Pet Series | Book 2

Love Is Drowning In A Deep Web

He could feel the cold wave of jealousy washing over his apprentice at the mention of Nashi. He didn't think she had guessed that he used to have sex with Nashi. It was something to do with the communing--the laying of hands on a menstruating person--that his apprentice had just been the center of. He concentrated on her to come to understand that she wanted to provide for him--share with him. Even in her regenerating state.

He'd missed the cue there. He should've communed.

It was one of the first rituals he'd ever participated in with the Knights of Ren. It had been with Azha Ren, and the visions he'd seen had shaken him all the way down to his faulty foundations. It haunted him--less frequently now, but often enough.

With the taste of bitter, dark wine and menstrual blood on his tongue, he had experienced the first of many glimpses into the future. He had felt his future-beloved's sobs of agony. It had been hazy at first, just a sense of the futility of it all. He came to understand later that he would be powerless and unable to protect her. She might die, and there wouldn't be a thing he could do. He knew it would be all his fault, that he was the monster who had doomed them both to suffer. He had been telling himself for years that the future was always in motion and that not everything he saw would come to pass. Sometimes he believed it.

However, that was not now and neither one of them was suffering. He offered his hand to help her off the gym mat which they had used during communion. She seemed disinclined at first, but she took his hand for him to pull her up. She adjusted her clothing to cover her torso once she was standing and then combed back her hair.

All the while refusing to look at him.

He tried not to take it personally. There was nothing he could say that would assuage her upset. Yideth broke the tension by stating she wanted to work on flexibility with his apprentice today. She agreed, and they headed for the stall bars attached to the opposite wall of the gym.

He watched her go before turning and heading for Baltek. They worked on the strike dummy, and he thought of Rey. He had taken it easy on her on Starkiller, had given her too big of a window to strike him through. He thought of his new scars, his split face. Like a crack in porcelain.

Nashi would've loved the new scar, he thought. She had liked seeing the evidence of battle on the body. Or of sex. Which tended to coincide with her. Neither of them ever walked away unscathed. At the time, he thought that was what sex on the dark side meant: bruises, bloody scratches, and soreness.

One time, Nashi had popped him in the face and split his lip, thus ending their private argument. In his rage, he'd hit her back. She had laughed, spitting blood in his face. It had degenerated from there to him catching her throat in the bend of his elbow and choking her out while slamming his cock inside her. She had quivered and pushed her ass back against him as if daring him to fuck her unconscious. He had met that challenge until she went limp. He had let her flop to the deck, her head bouncing against the dark floor, and he had finished on her back.

He can't even remember what they'd be fighting about. The fighting had happened so often that no one thought anything of it. Even now, no one thought of bringing Nashi up as a bad thing. She wasn't a bad thing, but he wasn't proud of his involvement with her.

He had mourned her in the years following her death. He had killed the person who had driven Nashi's own knives into her chest. He had held her as she died in the snow. She had stared up at him and he remembered that her eyes were the softest they'd ever been. But even with blood gurgling from the side of her mouth, her hand against his cheek, she still wouldn't call him master.

He had mourned her, yes, but there was a part of him which had been relieved.

Kin Al came up to him and Baltek as they took a break and told them he and Jeckhum were going for the weight machines out in the fitness center proper. Jeckhum interjected they'd be doing endurance sprints, too. Kin Al groaned, but agreed. It was an unspoken offer.