Precious | Kylo Ren x Reader | Precious Pet Series | Book 2

The Gaps Are Enormous, We Stare From Each Side

It was early in the cycle and his apprentice was already busy with consort duties. This first time, it was to be measured down in Tailoring and pick out gowns to wear when on Hux's arm. He tried to keep his mind off her being paraded around as though Hux had earned her hand.

How had his grandfather stood by as he pretended he and Padme weren't married? Had other senators, delegates, representatives flirted with her? Did she have to humor them all the while gritting her teeth?

Leia never had any answers about his blooded grandparents since she had only known Breha and Bail Organa. And Luke had claimed he didn't know, but it had always tasted of a lie. Luke had never liked to talk about Anakin Skywalker or Padme Amidala.

He was left, as usual, with no resolution.

After he'd sonicked away the sleep sweat, rinsed out his mouth, and shaved, he got on comfortable training gear and sat down before Darth Vader's helmet. He'd begun to think of the face of Vader's mask as the real face. Anakin had been a fleshy, scarred prison for Vader, and Vader had been the shadow self, the deeper self, the actuality.

He no longer had a mask to be his shadow self. Starkiller had seen to that. His prison was the legacy of that illustrious Skywalker blood. It had been why he had killed Ben Solo--he'd had to escape it, distance himself, somehow.

He wondered if he was still doomed to repeat Anakin Skywalker's marriage with any lover he took. Would he have to hide his attachment for fear of it being exploited? Even from within?

He was beginning to think he wouldn't. His apprentice had been troubled when told the truth about his family, but she hardly seemed interested in Darth Vader as a person. It appeared as though all she wanted was to train and be with him. He felt her true affection--even attraction--for only him when they were together.

It confused him, sometimes. She was too good for him.

He closed his eyes and breathed in deep the recycled air. He could feel his bond with her as if it were a web connecting them. Different synapses lit up with every word exchanged. Lightning and sweet breeze rushed through the causeway between them. And he lingered there in the in-between for who-knows-how-long.

She came back to their quarters all cagey. She wouldn't meet his eyes for longer than a few seconds. He couldn't figure out why, but he knew she was anxious about something. He looked her over to see nothing out of place.

Except for a new bacta patch on her finger.

He asked about it, and she obliquely replied before tearing the little bandage off and depositing it in the disposal slot in the refresher. He trailed after her and watched her wash her hands of any bacta. She didn't look in the mirror and she wouldn't look at him.

The promise he'd made to not read her came taunting him now. He shouldn't have promised because it would make things so much easier. Then came the thought: What if she were keeping something from him? Could she be sick? Had Hux done something in the short time she'd been away?

As her master, he ordered, "Tell me."

She gathered herself and finally turned to him. "My... My bleeding is late, and I was worried. I thought... I don't know what I thought."

He knew exactly what she had thought. While the thought of a child wasn't abhorrent, it wasn't entirely welcomed either. He would be a terrible father, in any case. And he wouldn't condemn another person to inherit the same prison which he'd been neglected in for way too long.

He asked if she were still worried, and she shook her head, telling him everything was fine. Normal. She gave him a grimace that was supposed to pass for a grin. If she had been so concerned, why hadn't she brought it up? Why did she feel the need to sneak in a visit to the med bay? Was there no trust in him to handle the situation?