BAY YANLIS

COCKTAILS AND DREAMS

'When you can't sleep at night, it's because you're awake in someone else's dreams.'

OZGUR POV

My eyes close.

I've tried to fight it.
The attraction that I know has been building up inside me, second by second, minute by minute. Hour by hour.
The more time I spend with her.

At first, I thought it was just a physical reaction. I'm a very physical man and react accordingly to normal female visual stimulants, things that any man would react to...
Hair, eyes, smile, bodyshape, breasts, hands, legs, voice...

But now, without even knowing it.. Other aspects of her personality are appealing to me and she's got under my skin...in a good way!
Not the mad 'skin crawl' itch that I  usually get, or that uncomfortable feeling that happens to me, when I feel they are getting too close.

She's prepared me food. This is usually the first sign of a woman telling you that they are a 'homemaker' in training.

This morning was pancakes and the Pineapple cake at the weekend.

We've washed dishes, very boring job but I liked that we touched shoulders and I that I could smell her hair falling down her back, when I lowered to put the plate in the rack.

Fallen asleep together in front of the TV. 

She fed Tesla! You gotta love my dog.

She took me to the homeware department and bought that Pineapple box. I told her it would remind her of me, when she leaves.
That's a sobering thought.
I can't imagine her not being next door.

She's different.

She didn't mind her hair getting messed up by the wind in my open top car.
She didn't tell me to slow down.
She didn't protest when I demanded, she kiss me in the restaurant.

And I like it! I like all of it!

And today, we both shed a layer of ourselves, exposed a major weakness, that we like to keep hidden and the other one immediately went into 'Rescue mode.'
Without any thought of what it would mean, or what the aftermath would bring forth...
Covering up and saving the other was as natural as breathing.
Done instinctively.

And for myself, I know that no other woman, save my mother and my sister have ever done anything like that for me... Until now.

And I'm living in this moment.
Right now.
Wondering what to do.
What to say.
My cheek is pressed into her skin.
My arms are around her. Her arms around me.
My body is held close.
Her fingers are massaging up my neck into my short hair at the back and then pulling my longer length on top and as hard as I try I can't help the little moans that are coming out of my mouth. When her hands get to my forehead, she gently smoothes back the other way.

I think of 'Pislik limp dick', all of a sudden.
Three years they were together.
And the reason he gave to cheat on her, was that she was 'too mummsy.'

I inwardly laugh at the position I'm in now. Being comforted by her, like a child because I don't like Thunderstorms.
Another image comes to kind...
How easy it would be to lift my finger and pull down this little vest top and put my mouth on her.

I bite into my lip, hard!
Don't do it, Ozgur!
Think of something else.

My mother and father pop into my head.
Instant brain clearer.

My mother's love for my father was immense. She was so proud of him. A hot shot lawyer with a client list that read like a who's who of the rich and famous.
We wanted for nothing in life. But she lived in ignorant bliss about how he made his money.
Being a ruthless negotiator in Divorce settlements.
He brought me into that world and I studied hard becoming a lawyer too and by 25, I was a partner.