Quarantined - JL & HFT

Chapter 22 - Numb

Chapter 22

Hero

Shit. She's still here.

I drop my keys and phone on the counter as I rush over to the balcony door coming to a stop and hesitating when I reach for the door handle. I drop my hand to my side as I look at her side profile. I have no idea what I'm about to say or do.

After a couple minutes too long diliberating I decide to just go for it I don't need to know exactly what I'm gonna say. I just need to say it.

Right ?

On that note I slide the balcony door open as I step outside into the chilly London night air. At the sound of the door closing behind me she turns her head away from the view to look at me and instantly I feel like I've been punched in my gut at how fragile and broken she looks.

I have no idea what to say or do and how to even start so at the moment I'm just awkwardly standing here as she looks up at me through her lashes not uttering a single word.

I fully take in her appearance her hair is roughly pushed to the top of her head, her eyes are rimmed red under her cute glasses and the tip of her nose is red I assume from the breeze. She has her arms wrapped around her knees which are tucked into her chest and a blanket draped over her shoulders. I don't miss the fact that she's wearing full length jeans. If it's one thing I've come to learn is Josephine hates clothes.

She's planning to leave.

I take a couple steps stopping at the empty chair beside her. "Hey.."

"Hi." she mumbles barely above a whisper.

"Mind if I sit ?" I drop my hand when I realize I'm scratching the end of my eyebrow out of habit.

She nods her head mumbling "Sure."

I lift my eyes to her and I catch her nibbling on her bottom lip deep in thought. It is evident that we're both treading very lightly afraid to say the wrong thing.

I turn to her and the same time she lifts her eyes to look at me.

"I um - I saw your bag at the door." I say pointing inside with my thumb.

Her eyes flicker inside then back to me as she nods her head.

Fuck. Why is this so hard. "Jo-"

"You were right." She says barely above a whisper, if she wasn't looking at me right now I'd be convinced she was talking to herself.

Wait what ?

"What.. no I wasn't, I was so far from rig-." I desperately start but she cuts me off lifting her hand up to silence me.

"I need to say this." She says.

I nod my head at her request but internally I make the decision that no matter what she says I need to tell her everything. I won't chicken out like last time.

She sighs before continuing her eyes now trained on a piece of string fraying from the blanket. "You were right, I was being a hypocrite and that wasn't fair to you. I can't continue to judge you based on Patrick's past actions that isn't fair." She looks up at me. "Especially when you're nothing like him.. Even though what you did was pretty shitty I can't get upset for something you did when we weren't even on speaking terms."

"Jo.."

She frowns at me. "Just let me finish Hero."

"Ok." I nod but she's crazy to be apologizing right now I fucked up and everything she said tonight was right. I know if the situation was reversed I wouldn't act like it isn't a big deal.