Razors

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TW!selfharm

micki's POV

i always hated how i looked , i never believed i was beautiful. i had my moms eyes but everything else my mom told me was from my dad, i wish i knew what he was like i made a mental note to maybe ask Ace about him one day. i sighed and went back into my room any everything came flooding in.

"why are you so fat Mickaela, " "i don't think you'll ever get a boyfriend," he said as he tried touching me. "Shhhh be a good girl i promise i'll make you feel so good" "Get a way from me!!' i screamed as i tried running until he caught me.

tears ran out off my eyes as i tried to forget everything he did to me, I clawed my self scratching myself i felt as if his hands were rapped around,  my lungs were tightening and i was struggling to breath, i gasped for air as the anxiety attack took control of me. i tried getting my breathing back to normal, after i calmed down, i cried silently rocking myself back and forth.  

My sobs died down as i walked over to the balcony in my room. It was so peaceful. the fresh air blew as i took it all in. The view was so beautiful it calmed me. Their was a mini forest and just past it their was a steam of water pouring into the river. it shone like crystal as the moon shone its light over it. Maybe my stay here won't be as bad as i thought. But there was one thing i was sure of, i would not let anyone get too close.My past was so dark and i promised myself never to tell anyone about it. because if there is something i had learnt in my life it was to never let anyone see your weak spot because they will use it to break you apart completely. I sighed as  i gazed at the beautiful scene.

 I sighed as  i gazed at the beautiful scene

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Alex

Alex

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Ace


andrew

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andrew


adrian

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adrian

adrian

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Amos

Amos

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Mickayla

 On nights like this, mom would cuddle me to sleep and whisper sweet words to me....she made all that pain that that bastard caused disappear but now the pain hurt so much it was like being stabbed continueosly in the heart, i stared at the view new tears falling from my cheeks, i just wanted the pain to end for everything to go away i wanted to be fine. i knew something that would ease the pain.

i went back into my room and took out a small set i had hid under my bed, i opened it to reveal all my razors. i contemplated whether i wanted to do this after being five months clean. 

slowly i picked up one razor and went into the bathroom, i pulled down my pants and stared at the faded scars on my thighs, i sat on the toilet sit, one by one i pressed the razor onto my legs , the blood flowed as i felt a slight relief in my chest. after some few minutes, i wiped my thighs with a wet towel and pulled back my pants up, i was fucked up and even i knew it.

i changed into an oversized shirt and got into bed and cried myself to sleep.





SO HEY GUYS AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING 

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE 137 views. I REALLY APPRECIATE.

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