Fallout [The 100]

60

★ M A I A ★

Hours passed uneventfully. Kenna dozed off, and after a while Alex sat down. Then the screaming started. I move toward the window, but I couldn't tell where it was coming from. "I think that's Miller."

"The one you trust more than me," Alex muttered. I glanced over my shoulder. "You think I'm just some lap dog, doing Cal's bidding. Isn't that true?" I opened my mouth to deny it, but the words didn't come. He stood up. "I voted you in too. But that doesn't matter. To you I'm just the monster that killed a woman in cold blood."

"A woman that you loved," I reminded him. The words came out with more venom than I'd intended them to. "How am I supposed to trust someone like that?"

Alex shook his head. "I did it to save your life."

"Why? Because Cal saved me first?" I rolled my eyes. "If Cal hadn't taken that bullet, you wouldn't have batted an eye. You don't know me. You don't care. Stop pretending you do."

Alex tugged on his restraints. "Shadows take care of each other. Ella didn't give a shit that Cal wanted you in. She broke the code, she did that to herself. But you didn't help. You were a goddamn spy, and Peter died trying to help your friends." I stared back at him, silent. "But we left that shit on Earth. You're a Shadow. The fact that you think I would hurt you now proves you have no idea what that means."

"You can't just forget that shit," I countered. There was so much I never let go, so many ghosts that haunted me. I couldn't imagine just wiping it all away. Even with Echo it had taken years to fully trust each other, to become family. That didn't come with a tattoo. "I got Peter killed, I pushed Ella off the deep end. It was my life or hers. It was my fault. You should hate me." I do.

"You don't fucking get it, do you?" He took another step toward me, pulling the chain taut. "When Kenna put that knife on your arm, you became family. If we judged each other on our fuck ups, we'd all be six feet under. Damn right, it's your fault. But you're one of us."

I narrowed my eyes. I could feel that urge to push the knife in deeper. That voice that said it was safer to turn on others before they turned on you. "But was it my fault, really? What about you? Or Gav, or Peter?" I counted. "Ella Garipova was fucked up long before she met me."

I took a few steps toward him. "You never thought to stop her? She said, hey, Alexander, let's massacre a hundred fucking people. And you and Peter just said, okay." I let out a humorless laugh. "And that's just the one story I know." I shook my head disgusted. "You don't want me to see you as a monster? Stop being one."

Before I had time to react, Alex was lunging at me. The chain snapping off the wall was so loud it reverberated around the room. A moment later he was shoving me against the wall. I hit the metal hard and tasted blood in my mouth as I bit my tongue.

"Throw me my key," Kenna shouted across the room. I struggled to reach into my pocket, but Alex was ready for me, tossing me to the ground as easily as if I were a rag doll. I yanked my chain hard, catching Alex by knees and sending him to the floor beside me. My key fell out of his pocket. "No!" Kenna yelled. "Maia, don't."

I unlocked my restraint before Alex could get to me and scampered toward Kenna. Alex followed me into the center of the room. I pushed myself to my feet and circled, waiting for Alex to strike. "God damn it!" Kenna shouted, right behind Alex. He glanced toward her, just for a moment, and I took the opportunity to lunge.

Alex hit the ground. Kenna yelled again, like a battle cry, as she shoved me off of him, one-handed. She slammed her other arm into his chest. It took me a moment to register the tranquilizer in her hand. "Do you need one of these too?" She threatened. I held up my hands in surrender.