stockholm syndrome - lee donghyuck

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minjoo
i try sleeping knowing that tomorrow is the possible day we rescue wayv but all i can do is rustle around and think about how all of this is my fault.

if i just stayed with stray kids and not get nosy about my stupid family, wayv would still be here. if hyuck didn't protect me from bangtan and took hoseok because of me- bighit wouldn't be after us either... right?

speaking of donghyuck, i hear someone stand up and crack their knuckles before silently walking into the kitchen, looking at his silhouette i can tell it's the melanin boy himself.

i decide to follow him, not being able to sleep anyways.

"hey, can't sleep again?" he sips on his freshly brewed chamomile tea.
"yeah..." i take a seat on the countertop facing him.
"i knew you were awake." he pulls out another steaming glass from behind him.

"thanks." i smile before taking a sip out of the hot mug.

in our silence, i keep thinking the thoughts i had earlier, not noticing my tears.

"woah girl, bite your lip any harder and it'll tear." he pulls on my chin making me let go of my bottom lip.

"so wanna tell me what you're thinking that's making you cry?" he asks, leaning on the cold marble island opposite of me.

do i?

"it's my fault."
"what is?"

"everything- the reason wayv is gone, the reason jyp is targeting you again- hell even bighit." i keep my voice quiet not wanting to wake the sleeping males just a door away.
"it's not minjoo." he says, not showing emotion as per usual.

"you don't know that! stupid things have been happening since i've gotten here and you know it! you're fine and happy with me one second and then you're completely ignoring me the next second! i feel like you don't trust me and it's confusing a-and it makes me feel dumb. it feels like everyones forced to like me too! and not to mention-" i cut myself off, now realizing i was spilling all of my thoughts that have collected over the past few months.

"minjoo. this is in your head... plus you could've told me this? i'm not sorry and it's not my fault i don't trust any women at ALL. you're the first one i let into my life in years and you're upset that i won't trust you fully?! let's be honest joo. you don't like me either. you use me to sleep if you don't have your precious renjun." he starts to whisper yell, still being considerate of the other males.

oh. he's right. why are you so inconsiderate of the boys feelings?! how much more stupid can you get?! 

"sorry. i-" he dumps his remaining tea in the sink leaving the kitchen.

...

i haven't gotten any sleep at all and the sun's almost completely up, meaning we would have to leave in like an hour.

taeyong stretches while laying down and i watch as he stands up and shakes awake some of 127+ svt+ mx out of the corner of my eyes.

with everyone's rustling, the dreamies slowly start to wake up as well.

...

"....12, 13, 14." taeyong finishes head counting and leaves to the garage to grab the cars along with the other leaders.

as soon as his slim frame walked out the door, i walk pass all the nct members who tried to talk to me and go face first into mingyus chest.

for the few weeks that i've known him through phone calls, mingyu knows all of my feelings and reckless thoughts.