Being Alive ( D.W)

"Cupid's Mark"

I used my powers to move the knife I had on my nightstand into my hand and I carefully slit the mark.

Dean groaned in pain before looking at me with wide eyes "doll?"

I nodded "hi handsome"

Dean froze "I am naked"

I nodded "you sure are since I can feel something poking me"

Dean started to smirk.

I looked at him irritated "Dean, you do remember what happened in the last couple days?"

Dean nodded and got off of me  "yes .Every single thing"

Me "you beat the shit out of your little brother "

Dean rolled off me "we need to talk"

Me "I know first apologize to your brother. Then we can talk"

Dean nodded "okay"

---

Me "so you talked to him?"

Dean nodded and walked over to the drawer to lean against it "yes"

I sighed "Dean. "

Dean "would you've seriously never told me that you were helping my brother get rid of his feelings for you?"

Me "he was under Cupid's influence, Dean, his feelings weren't real"

Dean "but you didn't know at that time"

Me "Dean, it wasn't on me to tell you, okay? he wanted to get rid of them and pretend it never happened"

Dean "but it did happen"

I nodded "I know, Dean, I was there"

Dean "how did you know?"

I looked at him confused.

Dean "that someone shot a cupid's arrow in our asses?"

Me "you two were acting stranger than usual"

Dean looked at me confused.

I asked confused "you don't remember?"

Dean nodded "I remember everything. But every emotion I felt got lightwashed "

I nodded "Well, your sex drive and possessiveness made me suspicious "

He looked at me confused "my sexdrive's always like that, Elena, you know that"

Me "but you'd never do me like that while we're going through a hard time in our relationship"

Dean nodded.

Me"then there was your jealousy. You were so jealous that I was going to Sam with candles. I actually thought you'd handcuff me to the bed if I hadn't knocked you out"

Dean shook his head "you know I'd never go this rough with you unless you beg me too, baby"

I shot him a look.

Dean sighed "sorry"

Me "there was this weird feeling coming from you. I couldn't explain what it was"

Dean nodded "what gave Sam away?"

Me "his feelings for me got me suspicious. When he and I had talked about moving him on. He was telling the truth when he said he moved on. And I've never felt anything more than brotherly love coming from him for over year now. It was all just too much at some point. Besides that, the ritual only works on real feelings and not something that got magically strengthen. And that amount of strength turned it into romantically feelings. But it was fake."

Dean "still-"

I shook my head "Dean, you know Sammy. You know he'd never talk to you about me the way he did. Well, not like that. "

Dean nodded.

Me "Dean, I didn't tell you because of what happened the last time he told you he had feelings for me. or do I have to remind you how that turned out?"

Dean while facial expression turned dark when I mentioned that situation.

I sighed "Listen, the last thing I've ever wanted was to ruin what you and Sammy have, Dean. "

He nodded "I know"

I stood up, sighing "there's something else"

Dean nodded "okay"

Me "Sam told me what happened on that case"

Dean sighed annoyed "son of a bitch"

Me "Well, he didn't exactly tell me who you saw. but i know for a fact i was not your deepest darkest desire that showed up"

Dean looked down. 

Me "It was Amara, wasn't it?"

Dean eyed me " That doesn't surprise you?"

I raised my eyebrows "Honestly?"

Dean "Honestly? You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest darkest desire?"

Me "She isn't?"

Dean "it's you, Elena"

Me "but it wasn't me who saw, was it?"

He shook her head " No! She can't be!"

Me " Why not?"

Dean "Why? Because if she is that means that I'm..."

Me "Means you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?"

I nodded " For starters, yeah"

Me "Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She's the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I'm gonna blame you or judge you...I'm not."

Dean " You know that I want her ass dead"

Me "you had the opportunities, Dean, and each time you chose to protect her instead of killing her. So don't tell me you want her dead"

He didn't say anything. 

Me "talk to me"

Dean " Standing here right now, every bone in my body wants to run her through. Send her back to that hole she crawled out of. But when I'm near her, I don't know. Something happens and I can't explain it, but to call it desire or love...it's not that. I'm screwed man. We wanna kill the darkness. We need to kill the darkness. And I don't think I can. I'm sorry to do that to you, ya know, but when it comes right down to it..."

I nodded "i know"

Dean "so where does this leave us?"

I shook my head "i don't know. "

Then i walked out.