Out Of Reach [ Phanfiction ]

Chapter 3: Call

[ More trigger warning ]

I had to go to school. Phil was there. He would see me. He would confront me. He would hate me. He would ask about my blue, swollen hand and paperclip shaped burn on my inner arm. I couldn't do it.

I reluctantly got out of bed and got ready for school. I straightened my hair a bit and put on a long sleeve sweater to hide my burns. Shit. I had two periods with Phil today, both of them I sat next to him. English and geography.

I wanted to go without eating breakfast, my head didn't desire breakfast at that moment. "Don't you have to eat something Dan?", my mom said. I actually wanted to eat. My body needed fuel. But I already was nauseous thinking about Phil.

I took an apple and continued to make my way to the door. "I'll eat this on the bus, I don't want to be late again", I lied.

-

Maths was boring as always. Also because it was my first period and my eyes kept closing. Twenty-two minutes left, and I'll have English with Phil.

I worried sick. Literally. I couldn't concentrate and became slightly dizzy. A wave of vomit made its way up my throat. I ran to the nearest trash can while the bitter stream left my body through my mouth and nose.

The whole class was staring at me. I grabbed my backpack and left without saying anything, or giving anyone else the chance to say something. To me at least. I heard their nasty voices whispering into each other's ears while I left the classroom.

I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked horrible. I was pale and my eyes looked dead. In the corner of my mouth was still a little bit of vomit. I soon felt another wave and I rushed to the toilet. I felt awful. I wanted nothing more than go home. And Phil. I wanted Phil.

I texted my mom to pick me up because I was sick. What I didn't tell her, was why I was sick. I had never been sick of nerves before. Sooner or later I had to face Phil. I couldn't avoid him forever. I decided to text him.

"I'm sorry. I can't do it."

Simple, not too much and not awkward or whatsoever. I breathed in and out a few times and tossed some cold water into my face. I drank some water to wash out the bitter taste in my mouth. "It's going to be alright, Dan", I whispered to myself. I got dragged out of my thoughts when my phone vibrated in my pocket. Phil called me. I just started sobbing when I saw his name on my screen. I held my breath while pressing the green button.

"Dan?", I started to cry even more when I heard his voice through my phone. "Please don't cry. Meet me at my place around four, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, he hung up. How did he know I wouldn't be at school the rest of the day? He would have seen me in class otherwise. Did he see me through the window of the classroom he was in? My mom texted me. "I'm in the car in front of school, are you coming? X mom."

-

I was six minutes early when I arrived in front of Phil's house. I held my breath for a few seconds and rang the bell. My heart was pounding in my chest. Phil opened the door. I bit my lip, trying not to cry. "Hi. Come in", he said and opened the door further to let me in. Without saying anything else, he walked upstairs to his room and I followed.

We sat on his bed for a full minute before anyone of us said something. "Dan...", Phil started. "I like you. I loved the kiss. I was just too shy to say anything. I'm sorry", he whispered. I shook my head. "I'm dreaming", I said and laughed. "I am dreaming", I repeated again but now I really realised I wasn't dreaming. Phil looked at me with his beautiful skyblue eyes while he bit his lip. He was waiting for an answer.

"Oh Phil...", I whispered while a wet and salty stream of tears fell down my cheek. Phil pulled me into a hug and comfortably made little figures on my back with his hand. "It's alright", he whispered while also sobbing a little. "I thought I had lost my best friend. Please don't ever do that again."