Out Of Reach [ Phanfiction ]

Chapter 9: Conquer

It was nice Phil stayed with me until the day I would get better. I already was a bit better, luckily. It's been one and a half week since I woke up, and every day, he had been there for me. He would stroke my hand, press little kisses on my ribcage or other painful places (when my parents weren't around obviously). He would even feed me sometimes. I wasn't able to properly hold a fork (or whatever) in my hand because of the cast. Eating with my right hand wasn't really an option, I would take ages before I even could get something on a spoon.

Of course my parents had been here too with me a lot, but they basically just came in the visitor hours. They were always too busy with work and didn't care a lot about me anyways.

I was bored a lot. I wasn't allowed to watch TV or be on my phone yet, although I didn't have a phone anymore at that moment. It was crushed into little pieces but I didn't mind actually. I was more focussed on getting better again. My brain was pudding at the moment and it needed to rest. Brainpudding. I chuckled.

These few days I kept trying my best to remember the things that happened previously, before the accident. The doctors said that - with a bit of help from family and friends - my memory from that day would slowly come back.

The thing that would return anyhow, was the dream. Rather call it nightmare. Well, I always was at the same location. One time I'd get stuck between the branches, while the other time I would be attacked by crows or bats. It all ended the same way: I'd wake up sweating. Phil would always try his best to wake me up and just whisper sweet, soothing words into my ear, hoping I'd wake up soon and I'd be freed from the horror that was going on in my head.

I told Phil about the nightmares and how I was only able to hear him speak, like a voice coming from the sky, even if he wasn't actually talking to him in real life. His voice always guided me in the dreams.

"Woah! I'm just speechless", he said. "You know...", I started. "... I have a theory. What if, you are my guardian angel. And you appear into my dreams just to get me out. You don't have a material form, at least I've never seen it yet. Or it is just my brain being silly", I said. "If I am your guardian angel... I don't think I would know if I was."

"Oh Phil, I still don't get how I deserve you. You are so out of reach for me. I am just so lucky to have you."

He smiled. "Ahw Dan. It's not you who's lucky to have me, it's me who's lucky to have you. I love you so much", he said and brought my hand to his lips.

"No, really. I have never had anything like this, I never expected this to happen at any moment in my life. I actually have the feeling that you are the only person that truely loves me. I can't even remember the last time my parents said they loved me, I can't remember the last time I was hugged by them or even them giving me a compliment. All attention always went to their jobs. I felt like I didn't excist at home at all. If I would lie dead in my room because I commited suicide they wouldn't even notice!", I shouted that last sentence with tears in my eyes. And hell it hurt. "They never are there for me. I'm glad you are."

Phil was speechless. He almost started to cry himself too. "I have to tell you something. Something you really should know", he said and took a deep breath. "The day of the accident, we were supposed to have a date. I was studying all afternoon and forgot about it. You already were at Starbucks and were a little mad about me being late. You were angry and went back home, then you got...", he chokes in his own tears. "I'm so so so so sorry Dan. It was all my fault, all of it", he apologized.

"Baby, please don't cry. It's not anyone's fault. I was just at the wrong place, at the wrong time. You couldn't have prevented it. I think we should speak of luck that I am still alive and awake", I comforted him a little. "Don't you get it Dan? That's the whole point! Of course, you are alive, but imagine if you weren't. Imagine how guilty I'd feel", he said, holding my hand.

"I am just so happy you are okay."

[ Hope you like it! I'll update again soon, I am expecting to finish the new chapter in one or two days ]