Hermitcraft Oneshots

The Joke

<Xisumavoid was slain by jvkd*hd>

<Mumbo Jumbo was slain by- wait no he covered his ears just in time....suspicious>

Xisuma: It was a fantastic success. Over sixty thousand times as powerful as Season five's great pre-war joke ...(Cut to a photo of Bumbi Cactoni)

Xisuma: In action it was deadly.

(Cut to Cleo sneaking under the Concorp stand)

Cleo: X╎⨅ ᒷ⋮ᒷ ᑑ!¡⍊ᒲ⚍ᓭ⨅ リʖ𝙹 ↸ᓭ!¡ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ⚍╎⎓ ᓭ!¡ʖᒷ

u!¡ ⍑⎓⚍ ⚍!¡ ⚍╎⎓ !¡⚍╎⎓ᓭ ℸ ̣ ⋮ᒷ⎓

(Scar falls off the platform laughing.)

<Goodtimeswithscar hit the ground too hard>

G team: (charging) 

(They chant the joke. The team Star members fall one by one laughing. False is the last to fall, chuckling with fury)

Xisuma: The Team STAR casualties were appalling.

(Cut to a scared and confused Mumbo Jumbo sitting in a chair in an infinity room.)

[AN: I would like to make it clear that I know this part in the original work is talking about Na*is. I am not comparing Team Star to those people. Especially not Doc. This is applied to them just because of Mumbo Jumbo's role in the war and what ended up happening, it has nothing to do with comparing them to evil people. The hermits are all amazing and kind people. If someone requests I change something because it is offensive, I will immediately do so. Thank you.]

Doc: What is the big joke?

Mumbo:  Why did the chicken cross the road?

(Rendog laughing in the background. He stops when he gets a pointed glare from Doc.)

Doc: That's not funny! I want to know the joke.

Mumbo: All right. How do you annoy a Team STAR member?

Doc(somewhat confused): I don't know ... how do you annoy a Team STAR member?

Mumbo: Step on his foot (He does so)

Doc: (makes ffffffffffff- sound[if any of you haven't seen a clip of him trying not to swear, I suggest you do] )
That's not funny!  All right, Ren.

(Ren starts tickling Mumbo with a feather and he starts laughing.)

Mumbo: Oh no - anything but that please no, all right I'll tell you.

(They stop tickling him)

Doc: Quick Ren, write it down

(Ren opens a book and they wait expectantly. Mumbo produces a piece of paper out of his inventory and reads it.)

Mumbo: X╎⨅ ᒷ⋮ᒷ ᑑ!¡⍊ᒲ⚍ᓭ⨅ リʖ𝙹 ↸ᓭ!¡ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣  ⚍╎⎓ ᓭ!¡ʖᒷ?
u!¡ ⍑⎓⚍ ⚍!¡ ⚍╎⎓ !¡⚍╎⎓ᓭ ℸ ̣ ⋮ᒷ⎓!

(Ren drops the book and explodes with laughter. Then he dies.)

<Rendog was blown up by jfrvjfjgv>

Doc: Thats not even funny man!

(Long pause. Doc laughs under his breath and dies again)
<Docm77 was slain by hed&^bhcerakbvhv>

(False runs in when she hears him die. She points a sword at Mumbo)

Mumbo(panicking): X╎⨅ ᒷ⋮ᒷ ᑑ!¡⍊ᒲ⚍ᓭ⨅ リʖ𝙹 ↸ᓭ!¡ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣  ⚍╎⎓ ᓭ!¡ʖᒷ?
u!¡ ⍑⎓⚍ ⚍!¡ ⚍╎⎓ !¡⚍╎⎓ᓭ ℸ ̣ ⋮ᒷ⎓!

False(between giggles): Not-again!

<FalseSymmetry was slain by v*ttjt'fg>

(I can honestly envision Mumbo staying there and not escaping just to be polite)

Xisuma: But, by the next day. Team STAR was working on a joke of their own.

(Doc is sitting at a desk with Ren standing behind him. They both look majorly pissed off and tired)

Grian(with a fake moustache and a ridiculously bad American accent): Why is Grian such a good hermit?

(He looks to the two of them. They're unimpressed with his disguise)

Ren(with a smirk): He never looks down on others.

Doc: (Stabs both of them)

Xisuma: When our joke was ready, I had it put into the chat.

<Server: Why are all the old hermits more reliable than Grian?>

<Server: He looks up to us.>

<Grian: *Offended noises*>

<Iskall: Wow. Reallllll mature guys>

Cub(as a reporter once more: After the final battle, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned and the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here under several layers of bedrock.

(He walks away revealing a monument that reads: "THE JOKE")

AN:

Me at the end of this: What do you mean that's not not how the Civil War went?

The joke in the original sketch was just a bunch of random German words strung together. Mine however, is actually a real joke. You can try to decode it. Its shouldn't be that difficult.

 Do me a favor and put it here --> 

DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible, in any way, if you die laughing.