Business And Pleasure

23

I walked straight to Trenton's office and let myself in without even knocking. He looked up at me in surprise.

I was determined to do this, one way or another, I had to get my mind off things. "I have a proposition for you," I said.

He closed his laptop and put the papers in his hands aside. "No."

"What?" I was perplexed.

"I know what you're gonna propose and I'm saying no. I heard the news about your friend and I know you're hurting but I'm saying no."

"You haven't even heard what I-"

He interrupted me again. "My final answer is no." He stood up and came over to me, pushing me to the couch and depositing me in it like a child! I mean who does that! He squatted before me, his hands still on my shoulders, rubbing them. I look at him with distaste.

"Look, I heard about Antoine and I'm sorry for your loss."

I tried to stand up but he forced me back down. "You have to deal with it first, Joera. You didn't grieve for Senowu and you're not allowing yourself to grieve for Antoine, the only other person in this world that truly cared about you. I know I'm saying this for the hundredth time but you have to stop trying to be strong all the time. Give in to your emotions. I told you when your boyfriend 'died' and I'm gonna tell you again. I am here for you. Not as your boss or some guy you work with but as a shoulder for you to cry on. Let it all out."

I stared quietly at him.

He let go of me and stood up. "Say something." He was looking at me with sympathy. I hated it when people did that.

I stood up. "Fine. I'll say something. Do you wanna have sex or not?"

He bit his upper lip, seemingly thinking so I did the next best thing I knew. I kissed him, making sure to immediately cup his face so that even if he wanted to get away, he'd have to try really hard. I was surprised when he kissed me back hungrily. I smiled into his mouth as my hands began to unbuckle his pants, making sure to graze the outline of his-

"Uh-uh!" he steeled himself away from me, taking a couple of steps back, leaving both of us panting. "No. Not like this, Joera-"

"Do you want me to get naked first?" I asked, already trying to get out of my dress shirt.

He stopped me, keeping my hands clutched tightly in his so that I wouldn't do anything. "I feel like I'd be taking advantage of this situation-"

"That's what this is for. To take advantage. I want this. I want you." Why couldn't he just give me what I want? I needed to forget and even if it was temporarily, he would make me forget. I felt a sob choke my throat because Trenton was making me frustrated.

"Not when things are like this," he whispered and that took me over the edge. I cried.

"I just need to forget, OK? I am miserable, Trenton! I am freaking miserable and I hate everything and everyone because they all leave. I had one best friend and he's gone! I have no one now...not even you!" I turned
away from him so that he wouldn't see me ugly cry. Uh-huh. I am an ugly crier. "His family won't let anyone who is not family near his body or the funeral and they want to bury him in a casket! He didn't want that!" I turned to Trenton, not caring about my appearance anymore. "He wanted to be cremated," I whispered. "He wanted his ashes to be buried next to his favorite apple tree at this farm we went to on our first road trip. His family doesn't know that because they disowned him! I was his best friend and his only family from that day onwards. Trenton...I miss him. I miss him so much."

He sat me back down on the couch and pulled me into his arms. "It's gonna be alright," he kept saying over and over as he rubbed my back while I sobbed like a little girl. This guy...he knew my pain. He had gone through the same loss.

"Will it ever get better?" I asked, wiping away snot and tears. I sat upright and looked at him. "Does the pain ever go away?"

"It takes a long time but eventually it will go away." He wiped my cheek. "Joera...you're the strongest woman I've ever met and you can't let this diminish that. You're gonna get through this and I'm here very step of the way."

I tried to smile as a trickle of tears ran down my red face. "Thank you for making me talk about it." I hugged him and not in any sexual way. It was a grateful hug and he returned it just as the door opened. We quickly let go of each other and looked up.

At the door stood a livid branch manager. "What the hell?!"

Trenton quickly stood up. "It's not what you're thinking-"

"It sure looks like it is what I am thinking." As she closed the door and began to yell at us, I zoned out, watching the way her glossy ebony hair swayed from one side to the other and the way her perfectly manicured hand pointed at me. I was so zoned out that the only thing that brought me back to earth was a resounding slap. My cheek burned and I held my hand to it.

"Ow!" What just happened? Did I just get slapped? "What the-"

"Bitch!" the branch manager reached for me but I side stepped her. "Are you sleeping with my man!!? That's my man, hoe!"

"Bitch no." Lie number 1. Well, technically it wasn't a lie because I had slept with him but I wasn't sleeping with him anymore even though I had tried to. "He's not even your man."

She was seething.

"Joera, please just leave," Trenton said. "You're just making things worse-"

I glared at him. "I am? OK. Good. You, Trenton Buscemi, belong to no one. You're a free agent and I don't know who this hoe think she is coming here and talking smack but if she won't shut up, I'll help her! Keep your tramps in their lane." I clicked my tongue. I turned to the manager. "Sweety, you're in this 'relationship' alone, OK? This man beside me belongs to nobody. You're one among many of us, OK? I slept with him too and I ain't looking for no relationship. He's not built for those. Save your breath for someone who cares, bitch coz he don't."

Trenton looked like he wanted to strangle me. "Joera, get out-"

Nah-uh. I was not having any of this. Not with Trenton. If he was about to go all goody two shoes on me, I was bringing him down to my level. "You and me...we're cut from the same cloth, OK? Don't come at me with your mightier than thou shit. Keep your hoes in their lane, hoe." I walked out, seething. This ass didn't even try to defend me when his conquest came at me! Who does he think he is? If he won't stand up for me, guess it's all on me. Punk!

When I got to my office, there was an invitation to a charity ball that was mandatory for all the lawyers of the firm. I groaned in frustration and threw the card on the floor, stomping on it until it crumpled.