Chapter Twenty-Two

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*As some of you know, my mental health is not where it should be and has taken a major hit the past several months. Quarantine hasn't helped and the stress of army spouse life has been hectic. It just seems as if nothing has gone right and will never go right. I've isolated myself and cut myself out of a lot of peoples lives. I'm trying to focus on healing myself but I have wanted to pause my life and update for you all. I've not forgotten about my family here and I hope you haven't forgotten me or this book. I love this book and I love you all, but it's been a trying time. Please understand where I'm coming from. Thank you to all my supportive readers, from the bottom of my heart, you guys mean the world to me.*

•Talia•

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•Talia•

Standing in front of the mirror, I take in my flushed cheeks, bloodshot eyes, and rapid pulsing in my neck. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug to come down from. It doesn't help that my hands are still coated in blood, fueling the hatred burning through my veins. He's dead, but my vengeance has only been quenched for the moment. I'll only be satiated when they're all dead and gone. Cold bodies to rot under the desert ground.

I flick the faucet hot water on with my wrist and stick my hands under the scalding liquid, turning my palms a bright pink as the blood is washed down the drain.

Ryder steps out of the bathroom to get a better signal on his phone but I can still hear him conversing with Ash in the other room.

Will they really not care? It doesn't matter what Ryder told me; he's kept a secret from them. I know that's a big no-no in their world. They're a brotherhood who does everything together. I'm not entirely sure it'll matter that I asked him not to tell. I'm not his official Old Lady.

Or am I?

We talked about it nonchalantly at the Thanksgiving dinner at the clubhouse, but has he talked to the guys about it? Have I been officially cleared to become apart of the family? What if they don't really like me and their niceness has all been a facade this whole time?

I cringe when I think of Ash, who I'm almost positive could do without having me around. It's hardly a love-hate relationship, more like a tolerate-can't stand relationship. Will he even allow me to be apart of Ryder's life or will he deem me too much of a hassle? After all, I'm on a revenge murder quest where I've dragged his Enforcer into my scheming. That can't earn me too many brownie points with the club's fearsome jackass of a leader.

"Just get out here, we need the extra hands," I hear Ryder say with a bit more force than he has been using, "Okay, see you guys soon."

His footsteps can be heard coming back and I look back down to try not to appear as if I was eavesdropping. Even though he's discussing something that involves me.

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