His Gold ✓

35| My feelings

      Seth drives a convertible to the bookstore to pick me up. It's chilly so we zip up in jackets and pop the top down. He drives backroads 20 miles over the speed limit, his long blonde hair is tied into a man bun with loose strands chaotically blowing past his ears.

It's kind of funny, I think, but it suits him.

    I close my eyes. My hand reaches out and feels for the volume toggle. I turn the music up. Seth's chuckle beside of me is loud as we fly down the road.

   It's a freeing moment.

   We're driving. We're not talking. The trees lining the road are our only company.

    I scream to the top of my lungs with the song. Seth doesn't care. No one cares. Right now, I'm not being watched by anyone else. Not Meghan or Bryce. It's good to get away from that for a while.

     Though Bryce's touch still lingers on my forehead.

    It still burns for me no matter how far I get from him.

     And just like that, I'm thinking of him again. The thought almost takes root, until I notice Seth slowing the car. I see a sign in the distance. We're coming up onto some businesses and restaurants.

   I turn down the music. "Where are we going?" I ask as Seth directs the vehicle into a diner's parking lot.

    "Figured we could get a burger or some fries." He shrugs. The motor goes silent after he parks.

Fries.

    "Okay."

    When we're sitting inside over a plate of fries and glasses of half-drank milkshakes , Seth asks me a question.

    "So, about your feelings," he says.

    I chomp into a fry.

    "What's going on? Are you ready to unload all of your baggage now?" He smiles.

    I have another fry before I answer. "Unload? No." My voice is serious. "But I guess I can vaguely make some comments and beat around the bush until you're so confused that I've evaded the subject all together." I joke.

    "Hey, that's fine." He leans back against the booth, "whatever you wanna say- I'm all ears... no matter how confusing."

    Really? I take a deep breath.

   "Well, I don't know how to feel lately." My voice is strong at first, but then I waver. "I guess I just feel inadequate, for one."

    "Really?" Seth's eyes widen. "You?"

    His surprise causes me to sigh.

"You don't have to fake shock." I mumble unsurely.

   "I'm not!" Seth exclaims. "I assumed you would be very much adequate, at the least." He smirks.

I attempt to continue my thought.

    "I guess with guys I just- don't cut it like other girls do."

    "What?" My company lets out a surprised gasp. "Okay I came to talk about feelings- not let you beat yourself up!" He tilts his head in concern. "Come outside with me."

    I'm taken aback. "Now?"

    "Yeah." He throws a $10 tip on the table.

Outside? Why go so soon?

I shrug and exit the diner. It's dark. I follow Seth over to the car as he leans against it with crossed arms. I mimic his stance from beside of him.