wish i were ⇾ p.c

11- fucked up

"sometimes life gets fucked up. that's why we get fucked up."
-lil peep

When we arrived at the old run down bar that was Buck's place, I felt a twinge of regret.

I had never been here before and had no desire to until today. My mom knew about this place and she has told me multiple times to stay away from it, as she'd heard from Darry the kind of things that went on here. I felt bad for betraying her wishes, but at least I wasn't here for a party or anything crazy. Although I guess shipping school to get drunk does fall in to the category of crazy. Well, maybe not. You can decide that.

It's no secret that I can have very clouded judgment at times. A lot of the bad crap that happens to me is because I don't fully think through all my decisions. Ever. My plan is to get drunk, no doubt about it. But I didn't ever think about what would happen after that. My usual mindset is; 'let's cross that bridge when we get there'. It's not a good way to think.

I left my school bag in the backseat, climbed out, and slammed the door shut. I had to jog to catch up with Two Bit and Steve, my short legs not coming in handy.

They walked right in to the bar, and seated on two stools were Dally and Buck. Buck gave Two and Steve a slap on the back each in greeting, and he narrowed his eyes when he saw me. "What's this chick doing here? Ain't she a little... a little young for you, Steve?"

I never met Buck Merril before. I'd only ever seen him around; he's a tall lanky cowboy with white blond hair. He's Dally's rodeo partner and makes most of his money from bootlegging. He looked to be in about his mid 20's, and he lived right on top of the bar (there were a few rooms up there. One was Dally's). I heard a rumor that the reason he's called Buck is because, before his front two teeth got knocked out in a fight, they were these ugly buck teeth. I believed it. Who would name their kid Buck, after all?

Steve pushed him lightly in the shoulder. "Shut up. She ain't no broad. This is Kaylee, family friend of the Curtis'. Remember? I think you oughtta remember her being mentioned at least once."

Buck rolled his eyes. He was drinking a lot but didn't even look close to being tipsy. I guess that's what happens when you own a bar. "Okay yeah but what's she doing here?"

"Um, to drink? Duh." I cut in.

"Kaylee you don't drink," said Dally.

"Yes I do. And I've had a pretty shitty day, and I'd like to get very, very drunk. Right now. Whether you like it or not." I plopped down on a stool next to Dally and grabbed a random beer from the pack on the counter. The guys al shrugged and Two Bit smiled. He cheered his glass to mine and we both took a long swig.

I almost gagged at the taste but I kept a a straight face and drank the whole bottle.

"Jeez, must've been a really rough day," Steve commented as he passed me another drink. I didn't even check to see what it was before taking a sip.

Dallas snatched it away right from my hand. "Slow down. You guys shouldn't have brought her here. I gotta bad feeling about this."

I grabbed it back. "Be quiet Dal. I know for a fact you were drinking at fourteen."

"What's your mom gonna say about this?" He fired back.