The Boy With Silence for Words |Bam x Khun|

Chapter 5

Khun's Pov

  Who is this so-called Bam? So I should only have one class with him.. So should I take the advantage, and get to know him..? But that would really only result in a mess.. Well I could try and just get to know him. Just the basics.. He didn't need to learn about me. Plus knowing someone could get nice..

   ..But the pain of betrayal. The suffering agony from a aching heart, all caused by another.. Should I risk it?

  I stole at glance at his radiant eyes. It was as if they shimmered with curiosity. They a- ..they ached for.. It was hard to tell? I could usually read people since I observed many from a distance. But, I couldn't tell..? They were filled with innocence, curiosity and..
desire.

   Desire. That's where I was stuck. Did he have pure intentions, or vile ones? Was he like the rest of humanity or not? He was different. And it intrigued me.

   I turned away, facing the front of class. This is bad.. Bad, bad, bad. Now I have a excuse. When I think, 'Why are you learning about him.' My excuse will be something so utterly stupid like, 'I wanted to protect his eyes and discover his desires.'

Discover his desire.

   It sounds so bad.. Like I want to keep his innocence so I can fuck him. Oh my god.. I got to get him out of my head. If I chose either option, it wouldn't be in my favor. I could hurt him when I pull away, and then I would feel guilty. I could hurt myself getting to attached, him not caring, making my heart hurt more. Should I just not talk or interact with him?

   I did just see him once. He didn't even speak with me, he just sat there. Next to me. That's it. But hey, his note, eyes, and face are all stuck in my god damn head. I should probably not talk.. I'll just try and get over myself. My vision eventually focused on Mr. Lero, him scribbling across the whiteboard.

   "So now that I've gone over the general idea of the criteria," Shit. Didn't get any of that. All because I'm focused on Bam. Jesus christ, he's stuck in my head.

  "Let's talk about the project I mentioned. I'm giving you free reign with this project. It's going to be a smaller project to get your mind thinking. Pick a interesting topic about World History and teach the class. Explore the past. Make sense of the present. Look to the furture. This will be due next Monday, so you have all week to work on it and put it together. This will be a partner project as well. So take today to pick a partner, pick a topic and possibly even start researching. Get to it!"

   He clasped his hands together before sitting back down on his wheely chair, peering intently at every student. Way to make my situation better. I have a actual excuse and way to shimmy into his life. I could be his partner.. I need help. I need to much help. I'll only get attached to someone who will on turn on me or use me.

  I placed my head onto my desk, scanning the classroom. Great. Just great. Practically everyone already has a partner. What if I just convince Mr. Lero to do the project on my own?

   My life would be easier, stress free. Maybe not happy, but that's just a thing I have to sacrifice. I began to slip out of my chair when I heard a little tap on my desk. I snapped my head over to the sudden sound, only to see Bam staring up at me, his head slightly titled. I swear to god if he only knew my issue.. He isn't helping.

   "How can I help you?" Fucking retard, 'how can I help you?' He isn't just going to start up a random conversation only to walk away. The big conversation in the classroom right now is the god damn project.. Idiot.

   "Would you like to be my partner for the project? I don't have a partner.." He nervously chuckled, scratching the back of my neck. Only two thoughts raced through my mind. Yes? Or no? Aw, fuck. I don't want to be rude. Plus there's barely anyone else.. And I don't want to partner up with a retard.

   Dad would be furious with my grades if I fall a project right in the beginning.. I don't want to do the project alone. With trying to take care of wounds and not upsetting father, it would be harder to take a project all on my own. I can't have that. Let's just pray he's smart, or I'll just do.. Something.

  "Sure," I sat back down on my chair, slightly facing him. Shit, shit, fucking ehh.. What do I say now? I don't start conversations, nevermind barely talk. I don't have friends, I don't conversant. Now I have to pick a topic? How am I supposed to-

   "Not much for a talker?" Huh? Bam had his head titled, it was as if he was amused. Uh.. I shurgged, slightly nodding. He just giggled, flashing a blinding smile enveloping his face. Jesus christ, I'm going to go blind before we can finish the project if he keeps this up. He cracked his knuckles before turning back towards me. "So, what do we want to do!"

   "For World History.." I slightly tapped my desk, reviewing the many topics I could from my mind. "There was the War of Roses, um.. The Hundred Years War, there was the Ottoman Empire as well. That's all I can think of.. What do you think?"

   He's face lit up, starting at me with amazement. I couldn't help but feel slightly flustered, no one ever started at me with such eyes. There was only once or twice were someone had cared and was invested like his eyes. From my sister and mother. But besides that, I tried to debate on which topic.

   I knew more about the Ottoman Empire and the War of Roses more than the Hundred Years War. But I still knew a fair amount of info for each event. "I know more about Ottoman and the War of Roses more than the Hundred Years War.. But I don't mind, you can choose." I'm to indecisive to choose anyway.

   "Can we learn about the Hundred Years War then? It sounds interesting.." I nodded, reaching for my bag. "We can try and start researching for the rest of class, understanding the basics. But I'll can create a doc were we can write notes. Umm.. I'll try to create a slides presentation at one point. And we can figure the rest out on the way."

   He nodded cheerfully, his bag already in his lap. His fished out his own laptop, already speedily typing. I hurriedly caught up, creating the doc, simply naming it 'World History - Hundred Years War.'

   While typing and researching about the war, I couldn't help but steal small glances at Bam. Thankfully he didn't catch me.. But for some reason I wanted to look at him more, I wanted to learn more, I wanted to feel his hand in mine. And I was scared. Scared.. And just a little itsy tiny bit thrilled. But I couldn't trust him. Not yet.