05 : Out of Seoul

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After a quite a call between Lucas and his Cousin who just gave in to Lucas' request, They drive downtown while Lucas' managing the wheels, his other free hand holding Winwin's other hand as his smile was shown...

Winwin caught Lucas always taking glances on him which sends him butterflies,

"Eyes on the road" Winwin said as if he's not feeling butterflies while looking outside, to the passing scenery... hiding his blushes, "I always look on the road but is it wrong to look to the most beautiful and wonderful thing I ever have?" Lucas said as he keep his eyes on the road "Don't give me butterflies" Lucas again glance at him then, "With just one look at you my love, You give me lot of butterflies each time..." Winwin look at him with his loving smile "I'm so glad that I have you as my Forever partner..." As Lucas glance again, he quickly pulled his brakes and quickly wiped his tears with his worried looks "What's wrong? Did I said something wrong? Did I hurt you? Or what did I---" Winwin shush him as he cupped his face "You did nothing wrong Lucas... I don't know why I cried either or maybe because I'm just so much thankful of having you in my life, that you stayed in love with me with all these years... That no matter how many times we got or we might separate, You still stay in love with me... I can't find another kind of Lucas in my whole life except you..." And by that, Lucas shed tears... hugged him "You're so right my love, I will stay in love with you no matter what... You're the first person I love and will forever be my love... My First and Last Love" Winwin hugged back "But your love will be divided... and it will be the happiest" Lucas part the hug and look at him "What do you mean?" Winwin shakes his head and later kiss Lucas' lips "Just neglect it... I'm just pulling your legs" Lucas smile and kiss Winwin back before hitting the road again.

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After quite a ride, Lucas then gently wake Winwin up...

"We're here..." "Did I fell asleep?" As he rub his eyes while Lucas chuckle at his partner's cuteness "It's alright... At least we're here now" Winwin look outside and saw that they are at their vacation house / place...

They went out from the car as Winwin choose to walked to the place first...

"It's been so long since we last came here... and that time's with Jaemin when he's still a little boy"

He force himself to stop his tears from falling, hallucinating seeing the little Jaemin running around the green grasses as he called him to catch and play with him... Hearing the little Jaemin's laughter and his smile together with his little hands, waving at him in slow motion... Winwin's heart broke and started to miss him even more.

"Lucas' memory of him already erase you my son... Well, why did you do that as well? Aren't you coming back to us anymore? Like ever?"

Winwin clenched his shirt, near his heart "Winwin breath, This is not what Jaemin wanted you to live in... If you won't stop, maybe he'll come back Erase himself from yours too" he thought to himself as if his inner self scolded his own... He look back at Lucas who's waiting for him to look back at him, "This is so wonderful!" He's still so amazed but yes, he pretended like it was the first time... Lucas get so very happy and walk towards Winwin and hugged him so lovingly "I'm happy that you love it" and kiss his lips before giving him the best tight hug...

They walk around the place as they hold each other hands, every places they went... Winwin saw Jaemin who's living on his memories, That one little boy who's so bubble and cheerful, who love to smile and laugh at every little things, that boy who's so well satisfied with just little things even just a simple I love you... Winwin keep his own self composed, He's the only one between them who still had Jaemin on his memories...

"Imagine If we're going to have kids my love... I think they'll be loving this place like you did" "For sure..." Winwin just replied as simple as he had to be... "Jaemin really love this place so much... No need to imagine it, he love it so very much" Winwin thought as he cling into Lucas' arm and lovingly look up at him "Do you think if we'll have a child or children, they will love it so much? Like they'll be running the place while calling me to play with them, laughing around and carrying into my arms like a superman" Lucas asked worried like he's thinking Winwin's pregnant or something and Winwin chuckles at him"I'm so very sure that he will..." but the atmosphere suddenly changes... After a brief silence, Winwin voiced out his hurting heart... Still clinging on him and starting to ask the questions he long to see him pull it through before...

"But are you sure you can love him so much as you love me?" "What are you saying? Of course!" Lucas smile but Winwin's smile wasn't the same, it wasn't that wide enough, he knew to himself that Lucas love Jaemin so much but he's never been there for him like when he's still around the two before, because he's so much hurt and all... Yes, he's clinging on his arm but he's not looking up at him anymore "Are you still going to give him your attention, love, care and affection even though he's a middle schooler already?" Lucas just look at him, doesn't know why his heart hurts as bad as he can't imagine, like his heart's been regretting something but doesn't know why "Lucas... You're asking me if he'll going to love this right? I'm a 100% sure that he does but... Are you still be willing to be by his side through his ups and downs and won't let him cry inside his dark room until he fall asleep? Will be there if anyone bullied him?" He look up at Lucas this time "Even though I'm not already around?" Tears escapes his eyes "Are you still going to be the best Daddy for our little angel even though I'm not already around and though he's already a handsome young man?"

Winwin wiped his tears, letting go of his hold and face his husband, smiling for him...

"I'm just curious if you'll stay the same as much as I'm still around, I just don't want our little angel to feel so much pain and loneliness when I'm gone and he's left with only you alone... I don't want him to cry every night blaming himself of all the loss, I don't want him to be bullied, neglected and isolated because everyone thought that he's curse or something dark... I just want you to be by his side no matter how much life gives off pain and sufferings... Can you do that My Love Lucas? Can you do that for our little angel?"

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