The Alpha is my Mate ✏️ (REWRITING)

Chapter 17

After explaining everything to my dad and hearing his side, I leave the room as quickly as possible. Practically running to my room, I try not to let my emotions engulf me. I feel the tears stinging my eyes as I take in a few shaky breaths to try and keep them from falling. As I approach my room, I keep my head down and avoid eye contact with everyone I pass. As soon as I'm in my bedroom, I lean against the door and can't hold it anymore. The tears that threatened are now pouring uncontrollably down my cheeks, and I slide down the door, letting the emotions take over me. I can't stop my shoulders from shaking as a quiet sob escapes my lips. Everything that's happened these past few days has taken a toll on me mentally, and now it's finally coming out. I can't help but think about my uncle and everything I found out, Mason and my family.

My father's reaction was precisely what I expected. His usually stern but gentle features were filled with anger as he processed the situation. Talking to him got increasingly hard as I explained more, and his rage grew on his face. As I spoke to my dad, my mother's crying calmed down a tiny bit, and my emotions and anxiety went into overdrive. There was so much tension and emotion thickening the air it felt as if it was hard to breathe. I loathe confrontation, mainly because I hate to disappoint. Seeing them both this way hurts my heart, especially seeing my mother cry and knowing that I'm the cause of it. As I play back the conversation, I start thinking about Justin. My stomach reeled at the thought of telling him. "God, why can't I be done with all this?" I groan, wiping my tears away.

Justin and I were a lot closer years ago when we were kids. As we got older and into our teenage years, we drifted apart. As siblings do, we grew up and developed separate lives, different passions and priorities, different friend groups, and different relationships. All of that made us grow apart because we were both focused on various things, but we're still family and talk to each other daily. I know telling him everything is going to make him upset.

When I was 12, I was deathly afraid of clowns, and Justin tried showing me that they're not that scary; most of them are normal. On the other hand, he tried taking advantage of my fear and would scare me with it. So he helped me overcome that fear, but then again, he did not.

At age fifteen, when Joey Golfens cheated on me with some girl named Janice Willers, after I found out, I came home crying. I should've known dating someone older wouldn't be a good idea; I found that out the hard way. Justin was the first person to see me when I got home, and he could tell by my face that something was wrong. He forced me to tell him why I was upset, and the next day, Justin got into a fight with Joey. Justin started the fight and confronted him, but Joe was the instigator when he went in for the first swing. The aftermath wasn't pretty; Joe ended up getting a black eye and busted lip, while Justin left unscathed. After that happened, Joseph tried saying that "the other guy" looked worse, but everyone there knew what happened. I heard that he and Janice were inseparable until their relationship fell apart. At least he got some type of reward for hurting me, but then karma took it away.

Getting off the floor, I rub my eyes as I lean against the door. My heart hurts, and I feel sick to my stomach. Why is this so fucking hard? I'm telling my lifelong best friend that I'm leaving our pack. Not to mention, I'll be leaving everyone I grew up with and replacing them with strangers. I hate feeling dramatic, but I hate two things the most: disappointing the people I love the most and significant change.

Knowing him, he's going to be mad. After all, Mason has fucked Justin over more times than I can count on one hand. I don't think he will take it harder than Mom and Dad, but maybe a little more than Madison. I've given this speech three times already, and I feel I need to rehearse it again before telling Justin. I don't understand why I didn't bring him into the room while telling our parents. I wasn't thinking right because I would've saved my breath if I had. Maybe I can just take a break and tell him tomorrow I have a few days before moving in. And I'll be able to let my emotions subside because I am mentally exhausted.