Trauma

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[M/N][L/N] P.O.V

"Damn Ace! You're really good at fighting!" I praised

"Ahaha, thanks but I don't look as good as you do when I fight" Ace smiled

"Ace flattery won't get you anywhere with me" I teased

"Hey (M/N)? I know I won't die but if I ever do, please look at the sky and say goodbye... I don't think Luffy would take it too well if I died." Ace smiled sadly

"Well, just don't die!" I pat him on the back

"Sure, I promised Luffy I would never die!"
_

Gasp!

Shooting up, I sat up in bed as my heart started racing. My mind could barely think about what just happened, I was a wreck. My mind wasn't thinking straight and I ripped out my tubes before tripping over the blanket as I tried to get out of bed. I collapsed to the metal floor as I pounded on the floor before my hands reached to my hair, tugging on it. It was painful but it grounded me to reality as I let out my silent screams. The monitors beating out loud as I banged my head onto the floor before I closed my eyes and tried to calm down.

I had to be strong. I promised Ace to make sure Luffy is alright. My mind started racing to Luffy and I began calming down slightly, my chest heaving up and down as Bepo rushed in noticing my bloody forehead. His worried face somehow made me relax as I stood up shakily and walked to the other bloody bed in the infirmary. Luffy was not there. Bepo panicked as he tried to get me to stay still but I ran under him and outside to where Law and Jimbei were sitting.

"Luffy... where is Luffy?!" I panicked

The two didn't even manage to answer me before I noticed the destruction Luffy was leaving in his wake. As calmly as I could without having a mental breakdown, I walked over to where Luffy was who had just broken multiple trees and cracked a rock with his head. Jimbei who stood next to my trembling form, watched Luffy in pain. Jimbei called out Luffy's name as Luffy broke down to the ground. He had pinched his cheek so hard that he tore apart of it off. He knew this was a dream.

"ACE! DIED DIDN'T HE?!"

"Yeah... He did" Jimbei said in despair

"I'M NO PIRATE KING! I'M STILL TOO WEAK!"

Luffy broke out in the loudest wail as he cried with tears streaming down  his face. Jimbei turned to me and saw how calm I looked. Luffy lashed out as Jimbei tried comforting him and hit Jimbei so Jimbei threw him to the ground as I watched since my body felt stuck. I have to move on. I can't stay behind in the past, I have to be strong for Luffy's sake. He's dealing with it the worst. I walked over after slapping my own face.

Each step I took felt painful and I could feel the self doubt building up but I grabbed Luffy by his face. A lot of weight was on my shoulders which meant Luffy must be dying under his. He tried punching me but I flipped him into a wall despite the pain. I grabbed his shoulders and slammed him into the wall to snatch his attention. My determined gaze met his.

"Luffy, I'm sorry but you have to be strong! You can't just stop and give up on life because you reached a hurdle!"

"But-!"

"ACE DIDN'T GIVE HIS LIFE UP SO YOU COULD DIE! ACE IS GONE LUFFY! ACE ISN'T COMING BACK! BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN CHOSE TO GIVE UP BECAUSE OF IT! ACE WANTED YOU TO LIVE SO LIVE!"

I grabbed Luffy's face with both my hands. My voice trembling.

"It hurts you the most! I know I'll never be able to understand like you can! But as your nakama....-"

My voice raised.

"-SHARE YOUR PAIN WITH ME! IM HERE FOR YOU SO SHARE YOUR PAIN WITH ME!" I screamed at the top of my lungs

Luffy's eyes widened before he started crying again as my head moved to rest on his chest as I brought myself into a hug with him. His arms bandaged bloody arms wrapped around my back as he pulled me closer. His fingers scratching and digging into my bandaged wounds unknowingly. I let him cry on me. I couldn't bear to see my captain in so much pain so if I have to hide mine so I can help carry his then I would do it no matter the cost. Jimbei stood next to us as he place a hand on Luffy's shoulder.

"Luffy...it may be hard but what's gone is gone so stop counting that but you must count the things you have!"

"I d-don't see anything!"

"Luffy, lets count together then..." I smiled gently

My hands moved and grabbed Luffy's arms so I could help him count as his fingers trembled. I pressed our foreheads together as I looked down at my hands that held Luffy's shaky ones. Breathing in deeply, I would open his thumb finger as I reminded him of Zoro. The index finger was Nami. The middle finger was represented by Usopp. The ring finger was represented by Sanji. The pinky finger was Chopper.

Luffy's tears fell onto our bandaged hands as all fingers were extended by being represented by the early crew before I moved to his second hand. His right hand. The other thumb was represented by Robin. The index was Franky. The middle finger was Brook. Then, I finished it off by adding myself as the ring finger before smiling at Luffy as well as I could. His head tilted back as he screamed out their names before he brought me back into a tighter hug.

"(M/N)! I still have all of them! ... I want to see them. I want to see them again (M/N)!"

"We will, Luffy. We will."

Luffy and I stayed like that as Luffy calmed down and soon relaxed. I rubbed circles into his back as I could feel his pain being shared with me. His shoulders relaxed as he started letting all the exhaustion get to him. Luffy fell asleep on me so Jimbei helped me carry him back. He stopped soon however as he turned to me. His eyes heavy with worry.

"What about you? He...was close with you as well." Jimbei fretted

"I... don't know Jimbei. It's going to be hard but I'm willing to take on all this pain and even more if it means Luffy doesn't have to carry the weight of the world alone."

A/N: Fact, no parts here were too altered but I'm really glad I added in the counting finger scene with Luffy. Fact two, (M/N) did not have his hat on during this chapter. Law had it since Buggy passed his and Luffy's to Law thanks to Shanks. Thanks for reading!

 Thanks for reading!

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