ALPHA GREY (Re-written)

Chapter 14

“Stop crying.”

I feel helpless, as I sit waiting to be taken from my home, by a man I hardly know. My emotions are strong, damning even but none is more potent than the searing hatred I feel for the man before me.

“These tears you see, they are not a sign of weakness. You may think you’ve won but this is far from over.” I seethe, finding strength to push past the tears.

He doesn't acknowledge me, pointedly ignoring my threat. I continue, despite the fact.

“They say the only way to truly hurt someone is to take away everything they hold dear. You’ve just created a monster, one that may very well become your worst nightmare.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing that I am familiar with the worst kind of monsters.” His eyes are cold and lifeless as he stares at me.

“We are ready to go.” A subtle knock on the window of the car interrupts.

When I avert my eyes, they land on the sight of my distraught parents holding hands in our drive way waving goodbye as the car begins to move. I watch on as they fade into the background, my eyes once again swelling with tears. I don’t dare make a sound, the tears silently streaming down my face. The rage that burned within me refused to let me show weakness in the presence of the enemy, any longer.

“I want to see Xander.”

“You are in no position to make any demands.” He says blankly.

“I wasn’t asking.”  I clarify, though part of knew I was treading on thin ice.

“It would do you some good to watch that mouth of yours. I don’t take lightly to disrespect. You may be my mate but that doesn’t give you the pass to behave like you do. Next time, I won’t be so forgiving. “

“You’ve already taken everything from me. There’s not much more you can do to hurt me.”

My words seem to soften him up, for he grants me my wish. Guilt can often be a powerful motivator.

“Jasper will escort you. If you so much as leave his sight for a minute, the repercussions will be dire.”

***

The sight of him lying on the bed, battered and bruised, connected to a ventilator to help him breathe was heart breaking. I felt my anger towards Grey mount but even then, I knew I wasn’t without blame. Had it not been for my selfish desires to escape my fate, he wouldn’t be in this position. It was unfair that he was the one who got the short end of the stick while I barely even sustained a measly scratch. Though my internal torment was great, it paled in comparison to the physical pain he visibly sustained. What’s worse is that I wasn’t there to save him and there wasn’t much I could do now to ease his pain.

I had seen the hostility in his parent’s eyes when they saw me. Who could blame them? They were justified in their anger towards me. I was after all the culprit that had almost sent their son to his death bed. I plotted to take him away from them, taking advantage of his love for me to get my way. They say Grey is a monster but I fear I may very well be the two-faced monster in this story. Maybe that’s why the moon goddess saw it fit to pair us together. Afterall, they do say misery loves company.

I take his hand into mine, settling by his bedside. Where I am usually met by warmth lays a chilling cold. I wonder as I take in his frail form, why he hasn’t begun to heal. Surely his healing should have commenced by now yet he lay motionless, looking like death.

“Why isn’t he healing?” I ask Jasper, who has been watching silently from the far corner of the room.

“The effects of silver haven’t fully worn off yet. Only then will he begin to heal. It may take some time but he will heal.” His voice is apologetic, almost sad.

The fallout of Grey’s furry is devastating. I had thought seeing Xander would wash me of my guilt but I couldn’t have been more naïve. The guilt ate away at me as I silently watched him, his beating heart beeping on the EKG, serving as the only assurance that we was still with me. I was captive to a hatred I felt not only towards the inflictor but the source.

“I cannot even begin to explain how sorry I am for having dragged you into this mess. I was selfish and inconsiderate and you paid the price for it. I will forever be indebted to you for trying to save me from my fate.”

Deafening silence saturates the air, he lays unresponsive to my words. I am once again reminded that I am the source of his pain.

“If I could do things differently, I’d refuse your offer to help me, putting your safety above my selfish needs. I don’t deserve your love. I am unworthy of you. I can only hope that someday, you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me for the pain I’ve caused you. I’ll be gone by the time you wake up so this is Goodbye.”

By the time I am done saying my peace, I am reduced into yet another ball of tears. I can only hope that he heard me. I sit quietly saying a silent prayer to the moon goddess to heal him, preserve his health and grant him good fate. Though the thought of him with another left a dull ache in my heart, I prayed for him to find his mate. One who would love him irrevocably and unconditionally, that much he deserved.

Just as I’m about to leave, I feel a gentle pressure on my hand. I see a tear slip past his bruised shut eyes. He squeezes gently as I tighten my hold on his hand. Even in his pain, he still finds a way to try comfort me. I smile past the pain and sadness, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“I love you.” I choke out.

Jasper clears his throat awkwardly, making his presence known. “We should go. Greyson is growing restless.”

All I can do is nod past the haze of tears, reluctantly letting go of Xander’s hand. The last thing I wanted was Grey coming in here after what he’d done. He had all but dumped him on death’s door step. For that, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to forgive him.

***

The car ride towards Lycan Blood territory is long. A deafening silence hangs in the car. No one dared to speak. Jasper had left me at the hand of his ruthless brother, driving in the car ahead of us. Though I barely knew him, I could tell he still had a soul, or the little that’s left of it. I would rather be stuck in a car with him than this gorgeous devil besides me.

“Do you even feel an inkling of guilt for what you did? That’s someone’s son you nearly killed.”

I finally allow myself to ask the question that had been burning at my tongue the moment I got back into the car from the pack hospital.

“No. I don’t have the time to feel guilty, neither do you. What’s done is done. You should have thought about the consequences of your actions before you went and signed off on his death wish. You should be grateful I showed him some mercy.” His response is just about as cold as he is.

“Grateful, to you? I’d rather see myself off a cliff.” I scowl.

“Good thing you are stuck in here with me then.”

I huff frustrated by his nonchalance. Then again what did I expect? He was probably capable of far worse… done far worse damage than what I’d seen. I wondered as I stared out the window, what had turned him into the ruthless shell of a man that he is now.

Every monster you meet was once a human being with a soul. Fear not the monster before you but the thing that created it.

***

Author's note:
A chapter a day keeps writer's block away. Hey guys, hope you are enjoying the rewrite. I'd like to hear what you think. Constructive crticism is good for the soul, that and the fact that I just love reading your comments. Ok, I'll quiet down now. Enjoy the update.
Lots of love