-When her husband marries another girl-
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There is a price to be paid for giving up your heart. There is a price to be paid for wasting eight years of your life on a man who had no problem in marrying another. He claimed he was pressured...sai...
Light teases of snow had started filling up the air. I had ventured to the backside of the Nathia Gali house and found a beautiful lush green garden. There were cherry trees grown in its corners, black grape vines spilling over its low fences. Also, the back door of the house had a yellow bulb light lit right above it, so this fenced square-shaped garden had enough glow to have me drag one cane chair, which had been placed against its fence, towards the middle and just sit on it...look at the view beyond the fences.
The mountains were just looking so beautiful. I had wrapped a thick quilt around myself as I breathed in the view, keeping my feet pushed out of my shoes and placed on my seat. I was curled up to gaze off into the distance...listen to the distant low noise echo from the faraway mountains, and took a deep breath in.
The view was plain gorgeous.
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There were thoughts and emotions. The weight of all that had happened today...it was finally sinking in...allowing me to breathe in their impact. There were shades, and then there was dawn. I had realized that today I had once again fallen prey to the memories of my past. I wasn't supposed to. That moment, when I was lost on Mall Road, feeling so alone and scared, it had made me understand that this pain wasn't worth it. I had realized that Mehdi...he had been a wonderful husband, but our love...it had never been powerful. It had been sweet, heartwarming but never strong.
If our love had been powerful, there won't have been any secrets, it wouldn't have been easy for him to let me go... easy for him to constantly know that I was in pain. He wouldn't have made me patiently endure pain for reasons...wouldn't have accepted my demand for divorce because when you are deeply in love, you make it work. You don't leave your loved ones on the open streets...you make sure that they are safe, warm and cherished.
The way Kivanc had scolded me in public today...it had me fuming, but, some part of me was also hurt by how scared I had felt. I had realized that despite living on the streets for so long, I was still that timid and vulnerable city girl who had been too sheltered all of her life to deal with realities. I had felt so scared and vulnerable, and I didn't live that feeling at all. The way those boys had followed me...just the thought of it had me crying into my hands. I was hurting. I was hurting so bad, miserably and silently.
Times had changed...so much had changed in my life, and I was still suffering from the shock of how much everything had changed. From a sophisticated housewife, I was working to learn about the realities of life. The loneliness I had been feeling...I felt like no one could really care for me as I cared about others. I wondered if anyone really hurt for me as I hurt for others.
Lowly sniffing into my hands, as I gazed at the twinkling lights before me, I stiffened slightly as I heard the backdoor now open.
"What are you doing out here?" It was Kivanc. His voice seemed cold and stern, as he stepped out on the grass. I didn't respond. I was so angry with him. Out in public, in front of my daughter, he had scolded me. I had been feeling so scared, and instead of making me feel better, he had been so harsh.
