Sterek one shots

Lost without him

Stiles POV
A month ago when Derek left
"You have never been alone. Never since I have been here because I have been here. It's not my fault if you want to close yourself off and believe that I haven't been here when I have I always have." "Stiles just stop just go there is no reason for you to care about me none at all I'm not special at all I'm just regular. I'm leaving tonight I won't be missed so why should I care why should you care you never have stiles. I'm nothing more than a fu-" "DEREK STOP. ALL THOSE TIMES THAT I HAVE SAVED YOUR ASS SHOULD BE SOMEWHAT OF A F***ING INDICATOR THAT I-I CARE ABOUT YOU OK I WILL ALWAYS BUT YOUR TOO STUBBORN TO NOTICE THAT I'M RIGHT HERE. IVE ALWAYS BEEN RIGHT HERE. DAMMIT DEREK EVERYONE ELSE GAVE YOU SPACE WHEN YOU NEEDED TO BE HELD NOT ME I WAS HERE. YOUR NOT CLOSING ME OUT NOW, BECAUSE I-I." "You what." "I love you." I mumbled. "You shouldn't I'll only hurt you. Goodbye stiles." "Derek my god Derek don't do this to me." "Bye stiles." "I hate you I fucking hate you....I love you..."
Present day
"Stiles get up what has gotten you like this." Scott said. I didn't answer. "Stiles at least eat if your not going to tell me what has you pent up in your apartment." "I don't want to eat." I said in a croaky voice probably from lack of speech. "And he lives." Scott said I sat up and glared at him. "What do you want." I said. "I want you to first eat and then get your stank ass up and into a shower because you smell like you use skunk spray as cologne." He said. "Why should I, I have no one to impress." I said. "Uhm dude get in the damn shower that's the most just get in." He handed me a plate of food I ate it. I have barely been eating. I reluctantly got up and went to the shower. The bathroom light gave me a minor headache. After the shower I threw on a towel and walked back into my room. Put on deodorant and cologne hair gel and gray and black joggers and a white shirt with a plaid button shirt over it. "Stiles I have to go I'll be at dads for dinner at 7 you better be there or so help me god I will come back here and dra-" "Got it Scott leave." He left. I walked to my door. I opened it. "Crap my keys." I was about to close it but I saw a package I picked it up and closed the door I sat in this chair that was comfy. There was no sent from address. I opened the box carefully and cautiously. It was a jacket...a leather jacket. "Derek." I said. This is Derek it smells like him. Did he send this to me...is he in danger...I don't know what to think. The man I have been mourning over as if he was dead...his jacket is in my hands. I take off my plaid over shirt and put on the jacket. It feels like he's holding me like he's all around me. I slump to the ground. "Derek." My phone started to ring. "Hello." "Hey stiles." "Lydia what's up." "Nothing I'm just bored do you want to go to the mall or something." "Yea sure I'll pick you up." I headed out the door. I got in my jeep. It's black now...because of Derek. I picked Lydia up. "Hey stil- what are you wearing." She said. "Cloths." I said sarcastically. "No why the jacket the leather wh-." I started to drive. I didn't want to say someone sent it to me. So I decided to lie. I've gotten good at it since I've spent so much time lying to myself. "I just wanted a change in my style." I said. "Hmm well it looks good. But it reminds me of Derek." Lydia said. "How." I said as if she was crazy. She thought looking at me for a while. "I don't know it's leather. It has the same lighter spots, same rip by the shoulder blade. It has the same white ink from when you wrote on his jacket....OMG stiles is that Derek's jacket." She said. "What no what are you talking about shutup let's just shop." I said getting out of the car and fast walking it into the mall. Even in her heels she was right behind me. "Stiles is there something we need to talk about." She said. "No it's not let's just shop." "Stil-" "Lydia stop." I said stopping right between doc popcorn and caribou. "Fine." She said. As we walked around the mall I could feel her staring at me. I was going to walk into footlocker but I stopped. Because right at the top of the escalator I thought I saw Derek...he looked like he was in so much pain. His eyes connected with mine. "Stiles snap out of it." Lydia said. I looked at her and then looked back he wasn't there anymore. "Derek." I let out in a light gasp. "What was that?" Lydia asked. "Nothing." I said. After being at the mall for a pointless three hours I dropped Lydia off at home. "Stiles..." She said getting out of the car. I looked at her. "If you ever want to talk...about anything please call me." She said. I nodded, "I will." I said. I drove home. When I got into my apartment I threw Derek's jacket on the couch it fell to the floor. It didn't make me feel warm anymore. I started to feel captured by his smell and his feel. The thought of him drove my senses insane. This has never happened before. I didn't like feeling captured by him...especially when he wasn't there. The walls inched closer together and I backed up against a wall. I slid down the wall trying to breath. Once I started to breath right again I just stayed where I sat. I started to think about Derek and I felt like wrapping in my covers again. But I didn't. When I was about to get up and get some water I heard a faint knock at my door. I walked to it skeptical. I opened the door. "Derek." I said with a tone filled with different emotions. "Stiles....help me." He said and fell forwards into my door. I quickly got him up and onto my couch. I closed and locked my door. He was heavier than I thought. I got a towel that was a little damp and I put it on his forehead. He was hot and cold. I took off his shirt. It was a glorious sight but I wasn't here for the sight seeing on Derek island land of the sexiest abs. I got another towel and laid it across his chest. I moved the table that was in front of the couch and I moved a chair in front of the couch. After about ten minutes of sitting there not knowing what the hell to do I picked up my cell and I was going to call an ambulance. When I typed the 9 he grabbed my wrist. I was so scared that I smacked him. "Oh shit sorry." I said. He grunted. "It's fine." He said. He sat up. "S-so w-what are you d-doing here Derek" I said. He looked up at me. "I was coming to visit my sisters' grave and visit my parents...and see you." I froze my heart beat was all over the place . "Me." I said. "Yea." He said. He looked me in the eyes and then looked down at his jacket sprawled on the floor. "Nice way to treat a gift." He said. I looked to where he was looking and I saw his jacket on the floor. I ran over to it and picked it up. "Sorry I was just." "It's fine." He said. "Can I stay with you for a while...until I leave back out." "Your leaving again..." I said. He wasn't looking at me so he didn't see my face change into sadness. "Yea maybe, I don't know yet." He said looking up at me. After a while of me looking at the door half thinking to run out of it and crawl to freedom. "Do you want your jacket back." I asked. "Keep it." He replied. I huffed, I didn't want his jacket, it made me feel closed in. "Derek please take your jacket back." I said. He looked at me and grabbed it out of my hand. Not roughly gently. Are hands brushed slightly and it sent a shiver through my body. "Do want to do something." I asked not looking at him because if I did I would have been caught in a dance with his god like features. "Like." He said. "I don't know watch a movie." I said. "Oh sure." He said. I walked over to where most of my movies were. To get them I had to bend down. I felt a little awkward but I did it anyways. When I bent over I could feel his eyes on me I quickly picked a movie and popped it in quickly I grabbed the remote and plopped down on the couch close to the edge while he was on the other end. Halfway through the movie I couldn't take it anymore. I paused the movie. "Derek...can we talk." I said. He looked at me, "about." He said as if he didn't know what I was going to say. "Don't act stupid." I said. "What are you talking about." He said. "Derek Hale I'm serious." I said. He huffed, "there's nothing to talk about." He said. When he said that I froze. "Nothi- how about the fact that about a month ago I-I told you that I loved you and you said I shouldn't and left. Or how about for that month and some days I've been pent up in my apartment not wanting to do anything with my life because I couldn't. Also I couldn't tell anyone because then they would know about my feeling for you. And let's not forget that you sent me your jacket and at first I felt like I was in your arms and you were holding me and then I felt captured by you and I wanted to crawl back into my hide away. And let's not forget about your reappearing act really tied everything together when you fell into my doorway. And you say there's nothing to talk about." I said he looked at me. "Sti-." He started but I looked at my watch and it said 6:45. "Save it I have somewhere to be." I said I grabbed my car keys and phone and headed for the door. He grabbed my arm. "I'm sor-." I yanked my arm away. "I have somewhere to be...you can stay for however long you want." I said and I walked out. I went into my car and broke down. I started driving to my dad's house. When I got to the house I could see Jackson's dad which means Lydia and him. I could see one of the twins cars so that means there both here. I saw Scott's car so that means Allison and Kela their daughter are here. I saw Isaac's car so that means he's here with his second best friend Danny. His first being Derek. I saw Boyd's car so Erica's here. My heart started to beat when I saw Kira's car, I haven't seen her since Derek left, that's when I realized I loved him and that's when I broke up with her for no reason and hadn't spoken to her since this is going to be one crazy dinner. I walked up to the door and knocked. My dad opened it. "Stiles hey." He said. Then Melissa came, well mom. "Stiles hi come in." He said. She's my mom because my dad and Scott's mom got married which makes us brothers. I walked in and it was a full house. I felt something in my hand and I looked down and I noticed it was the leather jacket. Maybe I grabbed it on my way out. I put it on walked into the dining room and was greeted by everyone but Kira. My seat was the farthest from hers. For obvious reasons. "Nice jacket bro." Isaac said. "Thanks." I said. "It kind of reminds me of Derek though." He said. And then there were a few yells. At our table there was one more spot opened next to me. The bell rung and my dad got up to answer it. He came back in. "Speak of the devil." My dad said. I looked up it was Derek." He came and sat next to me. "Hey man does stiles have your jacket." Isaac said blatantly to his bestfriend. I looked at Derek but he wasn't looking at me. "Nah lost mine in New York." He said. He looks at me and I looked away. "Let's eat." My dad said. All throughout dinner there were conversation after conversation. I barely looked at Kira and she barely talked. Derek made a joke and flirtingly pushed my arm I did the same back. No one noticed. Thank god. "How was New York." Lydia asked. "Hmmm it was great. I saw a lot of new types of people. I did a lot of things I never could have done in the bounds of beacon hills." while he was talking I couldn't help but stare at him with slight googly eyes he looked at me few times slightly smirking. I noticed that everytime he would say something that was awesome or cool or exciting Kira would scoff. I think Derek noticed because he kept on talking and smiling back at me. After he got done talking everyone was laughing. He put his hand on my back and went to my ear and started to whisper. "She won't stop staring at you." He whispered. I mouthed 'I know.' To him. He went back to my ear. "Hmm act like I said something funny and move your head away from me slightly like I just bit you or something." I laughed lightly smiling at him I looked at him and wiped my ear. He smiled. Kira got up and walked out. No one seemed to notice or if they did they didn't seem to care. I looked at Derek and he looked down with a smirk. I got up and walked into the living room she was looking out the window. "Really..." She said. "Him."