Twizzlers (MxMxM)

Prologue/AN

Hello! Before we get into anything, I just want to put this up front:

This the second book in a series. The first book - Blueberry Scones - is on my profile. Please read that first if you intend to read this or you will be extremely lost. 

This book - if you read the title - involves a polyamorous relationship between three men. If that isn't your thing then you don't have to read it!

I aim for this book to be rated for everyone but there will be some darker themes. No abuse, no suicide, nothing of that sort. If something I write makes you uncomfortable please let me know! I don't want the rating to be misleading to anyone, but I also don't want to give it a mature label if it's not needed.

Now, onto the story! The prologue is going to be very slow, but that's because the first chapter will jump RIGHT into things and from another person's perspective, so I wanted to introduce Aaron first before moving into that.

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I always knew I was different. It started when I was younger and kids started to talk about crushes. It confused me, but I wrote it off as being some kind of joke. Maybe everyone saw the glowing red strings attached to people's fingers and chose to ignore them. I liked to call them sky Twizzlers when I was younger. I still remember the odd looks I'd get when I tried to explain them. Like, come on, how can you not see them? They're right there. 

But, as I got older, I realized that no one was ignoring them. I was the only one who could see the bonds connecting people to their other halves. It was around this time that I realized something else about myself that was... different.

I was panromantic. I realized this fact when I found myself crushing on my best friend, Erin. Erin's my alpha, and I'm his beta. When we were younger - about thirteen or so - I had a huge crush on him. Freaked the hell out of me. I'd never had feelings like that for anyone before. I didn't get over Erin until we were about sixteen and by then, people all around me were obsessed with sex. But I wasn't. Like with my ability, I wrote it off as being some inside joke. People weren't that into it, right? Maybe I'd get it when I got older.

No, I didn't get it. At all. After I got over Erin, I dated a few people. Girls, boys, non-binary folk. Anyone I crushed on and was able to date, I did. But the sexual desire never arose. 

And at the age of twenty-one, I realized I was asexual. Wonderful, right? So, I was a person who could see floating red strings attached to people, I wasn't straight, and I was some sex-repulsed freak on top of that? By then, I knew not all asexuals didn't like sex. Some sought after it even if they felt no attraction for their partners. But for me? The idea of having sex was the equivalent of being puked on. Sex, in general, was fine, I didn't care, but I never wanted to put myself into the equation. It made me sick to my stomach.

It was... hard accepting who I was. By then, I'd accepted the panromantic part of me. I thought that was it. But realizing that I was missing out on something that basically everyone else felt made me a bit angry. Why couldn't I be a bit more normal? Why was I the chosen one?

I didn't even know who I was angry at, I just was. I think my friends noticed at some point, but I never told them about it. I hadn't even come out as asexual. I felt like it was more of a need-to-know type of thing. Not everyone needed to know that the great Aaron Kingston couldn't get it up for a single person on the planet. 

The only person I'd ever want - or need - to come out to was my mate, and honestly, the idea terrified me. What if they laughed? Said I was being ridiculous? What if they tried to force sex on me? What if I just...wasn't enough for them? And I didn't even want to think about the fact that I'd have to birth an heir at some point. I was a beta and the position needed to be filled by another beta wolf when I retired. The topic of sex was inevitable...

I think it helped my nerves knowing that I couldn't see my red string. I didn't have to stress out if I got close to my mate because I wouldn't know until I smelled them. At least I got to share the experience of finding my mate with everyone else. That wasn't taken away from me, like it was for my friend, Wren.

Geez, just the thought of that guy makes my head hurt. Finding out he was special like me was quite a shock, but it also made me a bit happy. I finally had someone who I could share my ability with that wasn't someone of authority required to know about it. 

It sucked that he had to move away with his mate, but we still talked. We had to.

The truth was that I couldn't live my fantasy just yet. Wren and I have barely talked about our abilities outside of "work." I call it that because it's a lot more complicated than just some job.

I think we were about to be at war. There was no time to chatter excitedly over our abilities when lives were being lost and people going missing... like Kit.

Kit came to us about a month ago. He's a kitsune who ran away from The Eye, this super creepy cult that attacked my pack more than once. And during their second attack, they took him again. Not only that, but they hurt Erin and a bunch of our packmates. To say that we were all angry would be the understatement of the century. We were all out for blood.

They hurt us, so the only thing left to do was make sure they never did that to us or anyone else again. 

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I hope you enjoy the story! If you read any of my ANs from the first book, you'd know I was super excited to start this one XD

Aaron reflects a lot of the emotions I've felt before. I'm on the asexual spectrum like he is, and I'm also panromantic. His story is by no means a copy of mine, but I still relate to him a lot. That's why he's my baby <3

For those that don't know:

Panromantic - a romantic orientation where a person is romantically attracted to people regardless of gender. In Aaron's case, gender doesn't matter to him. He's gender-blind, essentially. He sees the person, not what parts they might have. 

Asexual - a sexual orientation where you feel zero sexual attraction towards others. This doesn't mean people who identify as asexual (or anything under the umbrella term) don't wish for romantic relationships or abstain from sex, it just means they don't get aroused for anyone. They still feel arousal and can have sex if they choose to, but a lot don't because they might be sex-repulsed, sex-averse, or sex-neutral.

Sex-repulsed/Sex-averse - most often used in the asexual community, it's used to describe someone's attitude towards sex. To me, it means sex when the person themselves are potentially involved. This particular term is for those that feel sickened or extremely uncomfortable towards the idea of having sex. For me, I have a very physical reaction - nausea - when I think about sex and stuff for too long. It's why I haven't written any sexual scenes. They're in my head, but I don't want to put them out because they make me uncomfortable coming from my own hands.

Sex-neutral - another describer. It means that someone doesn't care about sex and will most likely avoid it because they don't see the point in it. It's just there.

Sorry for that sexuality lesson XD I just wanted to clear things up.

Anyway, thank you if you read through any of my ramblings!

Enjoy Twizzlers :)

- Mel