Crash and Burn

•14•

November
Kennedy

     I knew—despite their best attempts—that they were talking about me. I couldn't hear them, and I didn't want to. Because, if I listened to them, then I'd think of the worse. And I couldn't do that. I couldn't lose my mom. Maybe we didn't get along all the time. And maybe she didn't like all my options and choices, and I to hers. But she was all I had left. I loved—love her.

     A tear rolled down my cheek as I watched my mom through the glass. Well, actually that wasn't totally true. I was watching Parker watch my mom. I couldn't see her from my spot in a chair so far back, but he could. Pressed into the glass, I thought he'd leave an imprint. But this wasn't what held my attention so aggressively. It was the way his body language presented him. I couldn't see a facial expression, but from the tense muscles in his back and the almost white knuckles, I knew he wasn't taking his eyes off of her. He stared—well faced—as if he could cure her by sheer power of will.

     Voices finally died down and I realized Doctor Jones, Parker's stepdad, and step-granddad had shown up. They all seemed to have agreed on my outcome. Mrs. Henrick walked over to her son and put a hand on his shoulder and leaned in to whisper. The step-men started passing out the subs they'd picked up, I didn't feel like eating.

As people ate around me, I stared into the distance. I had too many thoughts at once. I wanted to know what would happen to me while my mom stayed here. I wanted to know if my mom would be okay and when she'd be. I wanted to stay with Hope, but I didn't want to be under the same roof as Declan and Maya.

Minutes felt like hours, like days, like years. Finally, everyone was done and the Young's were hugging and kissing me goodbye. When they left Parker's mom took me in her arms and whispered something in my ear. I wasn't sure what she was saying, but I nodded. She and Parker's step-grandma put their arms around my shoulder and walked me out of the hospital and away from my mom.

~•~•~•~

The duffle bag I hastily packed when we stopped at my house was feeling heavier with every step. I was so tired and so mad at myself. I wanted to feel something about all this, but I couldn't. The emotions were there, but I couldn't get them started.

Rachel, Parker's beautiful mother, claimed that I was in shock and I would feel something soon. I believed her.

Rachel led me up the stairs with Parker distantly trailing us. I heard the conversation shift to a further room, the kitchen maybe. Glass started clicking together and I knew they were cleaning up the table. It made me think of the mess my mom had left at the Young's and how I wasn't there to help clean up.

At the top of the stairs, the hall branches off left and right. A door directly in front of the stairs was ajar and I got a glimpse of a bathroom before Rachel took us left. There were two doors down here and two the opposite way. Once the door of the right was opened I was blinded my pink. There was a twin bed set at an angle in the corner with plush pillows and a pink and gold comforter. There was a desk with children's art supplies with some of the works taped to the wall. Toys were neatly lined against the wall it tucked in cubbies. A big window was blocked out by blackout curtains and gold ones over them. Fairy lights wove around the ceiling giving a faint glow.

I heard Parker's breathing catch behind me and Rachel stiffened. I got the feeling this wasn't just a cousin or foster child's room.