Change of Perspective (TodoBaku)

Chapter Twenty-Three

I stick my hand under the water and feel as the cool water hits my bruised and throbbing hand. It looks horrible really. My hand is purple and red in places. I could've broken it if I punched the floor a few more times. Then there's a knock on the door. I jump up in surprise and my eyes widen. The door.

Then I remember I locked it and quickly pocket the blade before pulling down my sleeve. "Hey, Bakugo? You okay?" I unlock the door, hand still under the cool water. I look up at him and nod. "Yeah, it was just hurting and I didn't want to wake you up," I say gesturing to my hand under the water. He yawns and shakes his head. "You could never bother me," he says before pressing a kiss to my temple. I start feeling really guilty. I'm really am a huge disappointment. There's no way around it. That's the truth. "How long have you been awake?" He asks. I shrug, acting as if I don't really know.

"Uh, around 15 minutes ago," I lie. He nods, grabbing his toothbrush. I look down at the sink, making sure there's no blood on it, before turning off the water and stepping away, towards the towels to dry my bruised hand. Behind me, Todoroki turns on the water, probably to brush his teeth. We might end up going back to sleep, but it's still a gross feeling when you don't brush your teeth.

Once my hand is dry, I go back to the sink, grabbing the gauze for my hand. I start wrapping it before Halfie puts a hand on my other arm, almost on the fresh cuts. I get scared but look up at him like it was nothing. "What?" He holds up a finger for me to wait and spits out the toothpaste and spit in his mouth. "I'll help with that in a bit, just go sit on the bed," he says before he continues to brush his teeth. I already brushed my teeth. It was one of the many things I did as I stared at the blade in front of me, wondering if I should cut or not.

I nod, walking out of the restroom with the gauze. I quickly run to my suitcase and put the blade in the hole of the suitcase before slowly walking to the bed. I sit down awkwardly. All this movement is hurting my wrist. Leaving this sting behind that I know all too well. I kind of missed the feeling. I just hated the part where I had to hide the pain I was in, or the fact that I even had cuts on my body at all. It's embarrassing. No, humiliating.

Todoroki walks up to me and smiles, leaning down to kiss me. I lean up, and kiss him back. "We should go back to sleep after I help with your hand," he says. I nod, agreeing. I could really use some more sleep right now. I wish all I had to do was sleep.

He sits down on the bed, towards the wall. I climb in with him and we get under the covers. I hold the gauze with my other hand as Halfie starts using his quirk on the bruised hand as an ice pack. It feels really good, but all I can think about is how much of a bad person I am. I'm lying to him by not telling him that I relapsed.

He holds my hand gently with both of his and I feel the guilt building up. He's dating a liar. An amazing man like Todoroki and he's dating me; someone who lies. I bite my lip anxiously. I should tell him. He'd be so disappointed, but it's better that I tell him rather than him finding out. I really don't want to though. He'd probably think that it was his fault. He'd on my blame himself. I don't want to do that to him. "Hey, Bakugo?" I look up at him. His face softens as we make eye-contact. "What's wrong? Why do you look so sad?" I look back down.

I can't handle it. He's too good for me. "Um, I did something bad," I start to admit. With his left hand, he puts his pointer finger under my chin, lifting my head up so that I meet his eyes. "You can tell me," he says softly. I feel so bad that I start to tear up. I blink away the tears quickly, looking away from him because his soft features only make me feel guiltier. "I cut again," I whisper, completely ashamed.

First of all, I told him that I gave him all of my blades. Second of all, I told him that I was trying. Thirdly, I didn't tell him when he entered the restroom what I had done.