A Man Named John Smith (10th Doctor x OC)

Chapter Seven

Willow laid out the small blanket they had brought with them onto the mahogany dock overlooking the water. The colors of the setting sun reflected off of the waves as they lapped the wooden legs of the structure, while a lazy breeze flitted amongst the overgrown weeds and wildflowers that encompassed the lake. 

“It’s so nice out,” Willow commented, taking a seat on the checkered cloth. 

John took out the two sandwiches and nodded with agreement as he sat next to her. 

“Told you so,” he chuckled before handing one to Willow. 

She took a few bites as she stared in wonder at the golden sky. It was almost unbelievable that she had been thousands of miles away from where she sat now. Past the moon, past the stars. All the way into different solar systems and constellations. But here she was, stuck on Earth with the very man who showed her these things.

“Willow, are you alright?” John asked, studying her face. 

Willow snapped out of her trance and forced a small smile. John reminded her so much of the Doctor when he looked at her like that.

“What do you think of the stars, John?” She questioned, ignoring his. 

He stared at the sky for a moment before shrugging. “They’re nice, I suppose.”

Willow nibbled on the bottom of her lip.

 “I’m gonna go up there,” she whispered. “I have a friend, and they like to travel. I’ve been on a few trips with them too. They’re something special…. you’d like them.”

Her gaze traveled to his. She loved and hated the fact that John looked exactly like the Doctor. 

“Well,” he drawled, looking at each of her features with care and admiration. “Even though I’d much rather stay here, I’d come along, just for you. I’ve gotta keep you safe somehow.”

Willow let out an airy exhale through her nose before returning to her sandwich. The way he said it echoed the Doctor in a way that made her miss him even more. 

“I’d like that,” she whispered, no longer talking to John, but instead the Doctor.

He broke their eye contact after a moment and rubbed his brown eyes.  

“If only we could, right?” he asked, chuckling. “Maybe one day.”

Willow paused mid-chew. 

“Could do what?”

His head tilted and shook his head, as if he couldn’t fathom what he was about to say.

“You know, space, beyond the moon and stuff,” he replied, making it sound unbelievable. “It seems a bit impossible though, if you ask me.”

And just like that, the Doctor was gone. Willow swallowed her sandwich, grimacing as she did so. It felt like a wet ball of concrete sliding down her throat.

Fifteen minutes had passed since they'd last spoke, and Willow was itching to leave.

“You ready?” John said, vocalizing her thoughts. 

“Yeah,” she replied, quickly balling up the sandwich wrappers without hesitation. She worked as fast as she could, trying not to think about the knotted feeling of loss and absence she felt within her stomach.  

With him trailing behind, Willow felt John’s eyes watch her as she began the walk back, but he said nothing. 

********************************

It was about midnight when Willow had gotten up from the couch. She’d wanted the bed, but John had gotten to it first. Of course, she could have slept on the opposite side, but boundaries were boundaries. The feeling of emptiness clouded over her head, consistently waking her until she could bear it no longer. Willow quietly went into the bedroom, where John resided. She snuck into a drawer filled with some of her clothes, and pushed them to the side. She retrieved her cellphone, tucked between a white and blue tank top. With a small sigh, she turned and left the room. 

Willow went to the video of the Doctor that he had left for her and played it. 

It started like it always had.

With a deep breath, Willow listened to his voice, traced his movements. She watched everything that made him, him. She let the video run till the very end, when his eyes met the screen for a final time. 

“Be brave…”

As his hand rose to touch the screen, Willow did the same. The recording stopped, leaving her hand on a black, empty screen. Tears stung the corner of her eyes and made their way down her face. It felt good. These were tears of uncertainty, not sadness. She knew that the Doctor wasn’t dead, very far from it in fact, but she still felt lost. She had no instruction of how to get him back. All she knew was that he needed to stay hidden, but for how long? Willow let another tear fall, then another. She stifled a small cry as she brought her knees to her chest on the stiff white couch. It had been a few minutes until Willow heard the sound of bare feet on wood.

“Willow?” John called hesitantly. 

It sounded just like the Doctor, making more tears fall. They traveled down her face, knowing where to go, very much unlike her. Willow tried not to audibly cry, but failed terribly.

“Hey, hey, hey…” he spoke softly, approaching the couch. 

He sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, coaxing her into his chest. 

She tried to move away, but John’s grasp was strong and comforting.

“I-I’m sorry,” she apologized, her words muffled by his shirt. For what, she didn’t know.

Willow let out another small sob into his shoulder, burying her face into his neck.

John shook his head, rustling her curls that sat on his shoulder. “It’s alright, everything’s gonna be okay.” 

Willow shook her head. He didn’t understand. He never would.  “I feel weak.”

He paused for a moment, like he was thinking for the perfect words to say even though he didn’t know the circumstances. 

His thumb rubbed her shoulder as he sat there. “It’s not bad to cry. In fact, I think it makes a person a hell of a lot stronger.”

Willow bit the inside of her lip before unconsciously snuggling up closer to him.

As the time rolled on, Willow whispered;

“Can we not talk about this, like, ever?” 

She attempted to say the words humorously, but they came out weak and feeble, as if she couldn’t handle her own. She hated it.

“Of course,” John said, planting a small kiss in her hair. He held her tighter, like she really was someone he knew and loved. And for a moment, Willow truly believed it, as if she wasn’t an imposter who knew this life was a lie.

She knew she was being selfish. Besides, John needed her. But just for this moment, this single moment, she needed him.