The Only String Attached

16

"It's fine dad. I'm fine. Just I was not in my senses and had an over dosage. Don't worry about me,you go to your daughter",I said looking away from him.

"Bela, my baby. I dint mean to say that,it just came out from my mouth", he said.

"The words coming from your heart comes out of your mouth",I said.

"I'm fine dad. I will keep myself busy from now. I will try to forget him as you said. I cannot allow him to control my life",I said wiping my tears.

"You please leave to India.I promise I will call you once a week from now",I said and he went without saying a single word.

I can't expect more from him. He has done his part for me. As a dad he is concerned for his daughters. He is right from his point of view.

"Bela, your dad was hurt. He left having tears",Suhani said.

"My life is full of tears",I said smiling.

She hugged me and kissed my temple.

"Please talk to me when you want,I am never busy for you", she said wiping her tears.

"I will",I said.

I was really trying to move on from him.

I was talking to everyone and opening up a bit. Doctors were also happy that I was doing good.

Many of my university friends suggested me to try drugs,alcohol,one night stands and what not.

But no. I dint want to spoil my life. I never looked at that side only. That is not the solution to forget your pain.

The worst feeling is trying to forget your loved ones when they already occupied your mind,body and soul.

You can forget them only when you die.

Life is too short to live depressed,
It's too short to live anxious,
And it's too short to not to think about taking your life,
I struggled every day to live alive.

I was living with carrying a plastic smile with me,everyone believed it.

But no one knows the pain behind my smile.

People are like onions, layers and layers and layers.

I was putting up a layer daily, one after the other.

My friends,my doctors,everyone thought I was out of it. My dad too was getting happy at my improvement.

One day I was working sitting in a coffee shop and saw a boy chasing a girl.

'Mahir chased me on the first day of my collage'

I wiped that memory off and packed my things and started to leave to my flat.

I saw a boy throwing a girls phone and he was scolding her.

'Mahir yelled at me and thrashed my phone'

I shook my head and started taking long steps.

Is this a coincidence or god is flashing my memories to me.

I saw a girl hugging her man tightly sitting on the bike.

'I sat on Mahir's bike plenty of times'

"No Bela, just keep going",I said looking at my foot steps.

It was a windy day,it will rain soon.